In his post titled, A New Way To Find Work That You Love Tom Volkar of Delightful Work states,
We agree that to be authentic means to be genuine, open, unpretentious, honest and forthright. We also agree that authenticity is good for us. But we tend to disagree on how to get there, especially when it comes to our life’s work.
With blogging, many of us hope our efforts will lead to some sort of business, book deal or profession which will align with our true calling , however like Tom said, “We tend to disagree how to get there”.
For this reason, I’ve asked Tom to join us and discuss how he found his true life calling and overcame obstacles to become the successful true calling coach and business person that he is.
Welcome Tom,
In recent weeks we’ve been discussing finding our passion and even what the our blogs and/or creations may be worth. Some bloggers don’t know where their blog will take them, but others, like Nadia of Happy Lotus are finding themselves at a crossroad.
I know you’ve been there, too. Chasing what you thought was your passion, your true life calling, only to get distracted or to start doubting yourself. With that said,
What method(s) did you use to find your “life’s work”, your authentic true life calling?
I began setting high work fulfillment standards in 1992 and I’ve kept at it, adjusting and evolving along the way. That’s key. One must get started and persist, even if your first attempt feels like only a guess.
A strong belief in the gift of unique individuality that every being is blessed with has centered my work on expressing my uniqueness.
Shortly after I began coaching in 1998 I developed a process of completing the nine components of right livelihood shown here. My clients are comfortable completing the puzzle by choosing to fill in the pieces that are most unknown to them. After establishing a baseline of these components it becomes easier to continue to tweak and clarify as you go. But it’s important to note that each individual’s process needs to be aligned with how they like to work.
Once we reach the realization we may have found our “life’s work”, fears may arise. How did you conquer your fears?
Fears are simply thoughts that have run amok. They become more gripping and powerful through our imaginations. Thus it’s obvious that fearful thoughts need to be replaced with thoughts about what you want not what you don’t want. What I used is a complete awareness process that’s most effective when using all four realms of our power.
1). Spiritually determine the deep meaning behind what you want and made sure that your thoughts are purpose-driven.
2). Intellectually become a careful observer of what you are thinking and saying and when the fears arise switch out the thought and spoken words.
3). Emotionally used EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) developed by Gary Craig.
4). Physically only take actions aligned with what you want.
Many of the readers of this blog hope to utilize their blogs and/or online presence to move closer to their dream. Knowing that, what process do you suggest they follow?
Bloggers have a built-in advantage because they can leverage their blogs as marketing vehicles. Yet I see many bloggers who write without a pre-determined purpose or with too broad of a focus. So I’d recommend the following process.
1). Use my True Calling Guidebook (free at “Big Link Rally”.com) [or click on the book] to discover your true calling. Get close and even guess if you must but decide on your strongest possibility and ride it.
2). Design and begin operating a business that honors the movement (greater community purpose) behind your calling.
3). Serve that movement by writing about your business and the movement. Remain focused on that one main concept and see what opportunities and openings develop.
4). Seize those opportunities then tweak, adjust and continue to evolve your calling as you build your business. Don’t make it more complicated than this. Retire your over-analytical mind and get into authentic play.
Tom, you are now beginning a new endeavor called the “Big Link Rally”. Can you tell us a little more about that, how it works and what you hope the outcome will be for all who participate?
It’s my theory that had we been raised with unconditional acceptance, loving recognition and affirming celebration of who we are, we would have naturally developed our gifts into prosperous and fulfilling, true calling professions and businesses.
But instead, well meaning but primarily fearful and cautious caregivers, who modeled conformity at the expense of authenticity, raised most of us.
So our natural link between authenticity and abundance did not develop because we chose culturally acceptable livelihoods lacking in fulfillment and or prosperity.
Big Link Rallies were developed on my observations working with hundreds of one-on-one career coaching clients since 1998. I’ve come to the conclusion that we can accelerate the true calling process by gathering together in authentically supportive environments designed to reconnect this life enhancing links between authenticity and abundance.
The first one will be held in Pittsburgh on January 2, 2010. The second will be a virtual event in the spring [of 2010].
I’d be willing to bet that every one of your readers is somewhat aware of at least the possibility of her or his true calling. I’d love to answer questions and guide you onto a more direct path to greater fulfillment and prosperity.
That’s the mission of my movement, so please seize this opportunity to present your greatest challenge in the form of a question.
Thank you Tom for joining us today, and for being so willing to answer questions the readers here at Blogging Without a Blog may have. You’ve been a blogging buddy of mine for quite some time now, and as you know, I wish all the success in the world on your new endeavor.
Tom’s clients pay for his advice. Today he’s generously helping all of us at no cost.
Today’s Assignment
Do you have a question for Tom? Please feel free to leave it in the comment section.
If you don’t have a question for Tom, do you feel you’re closer to finding your true calling? Your “life’s work”? Your passion?
If so, how has the process of blogging helped?
~Barbara.
Disclaimer: The Big Link Rally links will take you to a site for which I am an affiliate.
Hi Tom,
Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to meet with us and answer our questions. I truly appreciate all you have shared thus far.
In the last part of the interview you mention, “…well meaning but primarily fearful and cautious caregivers, who modeled conformity at the expense of authenticity, raised most of us.” and “…our natural link between authenticity and abundance did not develop because we chose culturally acceptable livelihoods lacking in fulfillment and or prosperity.”.
Short of attending the “Big Link Rally”, how do we break that mindset if it’s been instilled in us?
And, do you feel the above scenario is generational? Or is it still happening today?
What a wonderful post!
Blogging has helped me fine-tune HOW I want to reach my audience/customers/world.
I’ve always been a teacher/trainer/etc.; the structure both blogging and social networking offer have helped me over the past 2 years move from scattered blogs/ideas across the internet down to 3 main sites, all inter-related.
And wow, has it ever been a character-building journey! 🙂
.-= Check out Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach´s awesome post: The Ultimate Career Change – Today’s Humor of the Day =-.
Hi Barbara,
Thanks for this opportunity to give greater wings to this all important mission. In order to reconnect the link between authenticity and abundance the same components that severed it must be in place, community and environment. But for the reconnection one must find an unconditionally accepting community willing to recognize and encourage without judgment. Most workplaces just don’t cut it but I have been part of some spiritual communities that qualify. Then one needs to immerse within an environment designed specifically to encourage authentic realizations.
Yes unfortunately fear-based child rearing is still going on although to a lesser degree. I’m seeing more and more young people in their twenties waking up to job dissatisfaction. In my generation mid-forties was the typical age when we began to ask, is this all there is?
.-= Check out Tom Volkar / Big Link Rally´s awesome post: First Be Authentic In Three Key Ways =-.
Hi Barbara Ling,
I’m glad you enjoyed the interview and I agree blogging is an excellent tool for narrowing down and getting to the core of our businesses.
.-= Check out Tom Volkar / Big Link Rally´s awesome post: First Be Authentic In Three Key Ways =-.
Hi Barbara,
Thanks for having Tom here – it’s always great to read his words and be energized by his own infectious energy.
Hi Tom,
In mid-November, I’m heading off for a weeklong leadership seminar. What’s unique about this, is that fully half of the week is spent on self awareness. I’ve been working on the assignments leading up to this, plus talking with the lady who created the program. And I’m convinced that the more aware of self that we can be, the more we align with our true calling. Which is exactly what I feel you’re saying here. There can certainly be fears related along those lines of stepping out of the norm, and into the heart. That’s probably the biggest hang up for me, is how to overcome the fears of “putting myself out there”. Or, maybe more specifically, putting myself (and really my family) out there and believing that the money will follow. Not that it’s all about money…money, though is still a factor. Hmmm….something for me to dig deeper into….
.-= Check out Lance´s awesome post: A World Filled With Wonder =-.
Hi Lance,
When I surveyed folks who wanted to start their own businesses but did not yet pull the trigger, fear around the lack of money was the number one reason they gave that stops them. So you’re right, awareness is the key. Because if you dig and see that there is really no proof or substance to these fears it’s easier to make your move. These days though many with a strong online network can more gradually transition into their business. Given all I know about you that would be your recommended path. Let me know what part of the True Calling Guidebook speaks to you and I’ll offer you further tips.
.-= Check out Tom Volkar / Big Link Rally´s awesome post: First Be Authentic In Three Key Ways =-.
Great interview and certainly a great message.
For all of us risk takers out there trying to get our blogs recognized, the passion is there. Getting it right and popular is the fight, don’t you think?
My passion is helping others see new things or old things differently. My first and most recent blogs help me hone this for an online audience.
(It’s been a rough week, though, so my passion is currently being stifled by the urge to visit sandy beaches and to veg.)
Tom,
I like this inertia buster: “One must get started and persist, even if your first attempt feels like only a guess.”
.-= Check out Lori Hoeck´s awesome post: Watch out for this predator’s super-stealth tool =-.
Hi Linda,
I’d say getting it right first, meaning authentic to you, is the key. We can always do the work to get noticed. But a phony or a fake will have to work three times as hard and be found a out anyway in the end.
Hi Lori,
I certainly hear you on the vegging by the beach. 🙂 I’ve scheduled a massage for Monday just to clear some of the lingering roughness form my being. Thanks for commenting and here’s to busting stagnation!
.-= Check out Tom Volkar / Big Link Rally´s awesome post: First Be Authentic In Three Key Ways =-.
Hi Tom and Barbara
This really stood out; “So our natural link between authenticity and abundance did not develop because we chose culturally acceptable livelihoods lacking in fulfillment and or prosperity.”
Tom, do you think we need to develop different skills to learn to develop our natural link?
I have stepped out and I am now following my authentic interest and I do feel I am very unskilled to do that. I have to make request, collaborate rather than compete and be independent for example and I am not used to do that.
As an employee I have learned bad habits for years of not taking ownership, of not solving my own problems and I do feel I am not well prepared to go it a different way. Thus I have observed myself for at least the last 15 years to see what skills I need to develop to repair the link you speak about and they are many.
My other questions besides ‘do you too think it requires radical different skills’ are ‘if yes, do you too think that we only require them by practice over time and do you agree that there is no quick fix and that it requires profound shifts?
That is it, love Wilma
.-= Check out Wilma Ham´s awesome post: Ann-Marie on jumping the gap from Knowing to Doing in order to live life differently =-.
“do you feel you’re closer to finding your true calling? Your “life’s work”? Your passion?”
I’m pretty sure I already have… blogging professionally. 🙂
.-= Check out vered | blogger for hire´s awesome post: Women Love Pink =-.
I enjoyed your interview with Tom. I would like to think my calling is writing, but something tells me god has another purpose for my life. I just don’t know what it is yet.
.-= Check out Rose´s awesome post: Plagiarism of articles- Sold as PRL articles =-.
Hi Vered,
I’d agree form what I’ve seen you have the passion and the personality for blogging professionally.
Hi Rose,
Writing could be a part of it. In my experience God does send the call because true callings usually have the largeness of a movement behind them. Look for ways to affect communities of people in a way that only you can.
.-= Check out Tom Volkar / Big Link Rally´s awesome post: First Be Authentic In Three Key Ways =-.
Hi Barbara & Tom. I’m excited to see how your perseverance and dedication has supported you in finding your true passion Tom. You have such a powerful way of expressing yourself; infectious energy as Lance mentioned. Congratulations on your newest venture! 🙂
.-= Check out Davina´s awesome post: 10. A Thyme You May Embrace =-.
Hi Davina,
Thanks a ton. That means a lot to me coming from such a heartfelt writer as you. You also do a very sincere job of telling it like you are. Coaches are good that way. We’ve finally learned to quit faking it. 🙂
.-= Check out Tom Volkar / Big Link Rally´s awesome post: First Be Authentic In Three Key Ways =-.
Hi Tom and Barbara .. I love the baseline planning puzzle that should all interlink – if we use these components and get out of kilter, we can go back and realign.
The realisation of what blogging can offer, with careful nurturing and always moving forward, and as you say Tom being flexible to adjust, we can go towards our goals, while at the same time new opportunities will come to the fore.
We cannot blog without others; and the same in our lives, for all aspects of it, we learn from others, we need others to give us ideas (even subliminally – that sudden realisation) – we need people to interact with ..
Thanks for the ideas and thoughts –
Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters Inspirational Stories
.-= Check out Hilary´s awesome post: Provender Hedgerows with Autumn Colours =-.
Hi Hillary,
Yep we can’t blog without others and we can’t work a true calling without serving many others. Glad you like my puzzle and that’s a good use for it. I’ll often ask a client to select a piece where he or she feels most under-expressed or out of alignment. Sometimes just talking about that area is enough awareness to see the change.
.-= Check out Tom Volkar / Big Link Rally´s awesome post: First Be Authentic In Three Key Ways =-.
Hi Wilma,
You raise a good question. It makes me think of natural athletes in any sport. They gravitate to the sport because they enjoy it and want to play. Yet no matter how gifted they need to practice to refine the skills that make them champions. So skill practice and mastery is necessary for greater productivity and prosperity but I would not think of them as necessary to reconnect your link.
The authentic honor piece has to come first. Are you being all you? Are you reaching as high as you can? Are you serving the largest possible community by going for your biggest dreams? Are you hiding or holding back in any way? Getting all that lined up is what reconnects our link. The skills are simply gravy that accelerate a cash flow begun by being authentic.
I absolutely know that there is a quicker reconnection that plugging away at it. That’s exactly why I’ve created the Big Link Rallies. Have you downloaded the True Calling Guidebook? Work the compass points in that if you’d like to accelerate your connection. I’m please you are now taking full ownership of where you are. You’re on the right track – keep moving.
.-= Check out Tom Volkar / Big Link Rally´s awesome post: First Be Authentic In Three Key Ways =-.
Thanks for your reply Tom and there are some hits in your response.
I am mulling over “The authentic honor piece has to come first. Are you being all you? Are you reaching as high as you can? Are you serving the largest possible community by going for your biggest dreams? Are you hiding or holding back in any way? Getting all that lined up is what reconnects our link.”
Reaching as high as I can is something I feel I am not doing YET and it is something I desire to do to honor the life and resources that the universe has available for me.
I am hiding and holding back for sure. I find it really hard to declare my purpose and to declare what I am on about with Women Like Me for example, although it is my biggest dream to serve a bigger community and thus together reach a tipping point for a better world.
I am trained to be modest as part of interpersonal skills and as a psychologist I was trained to NOT declare myself and I need to change those interpersonal skills to serve what I am on about.
So connection and the refining of skills goes hand in hand and yes, to seriously work on being an athlete does require connection to keep motivated for sure.
Thanks Tom, I enjoyed this and all the other dialogs.
.-= Check out Wilma Ham´s awesome post: Part 2. Making requests, an underestimated skill. =-.
Wilma,
Thanks for the sincere candor in your response. It caused me to wonder are you perhaps relying too much on that considerable mind of yours? What is your inner guidance telling you about coming out and declaring all the way? Follow that.
Also download my True Calling Guidebook, compass points 8 and 9 will help you considerably.
Finally there is a prayer of true calling on the Big Link Rally site. If you are really ready to lead a bigger community in a bigger way, say that prayer for 10 days and then write and tell me what comes up for you. Your calling cannot be denied. Honor it.
.-= Check out Tom Volkar / Big Link Rally´s awesome post: First Be Authentic In Three Key Ways =-.
Thanks Tom. I did listen to your prayer and downloaded your
True Calling Guide book. No point in having asked the question and not following up on the answers.
I will do as you suggested and let you know, as that means I am in integrity with the porcess and your generosity.
And yes my mind does take a lot of liberties and drowns out the intelligence of the heart and I am working on it to have it be the other way.
.-= Check out Wilma Ham´s awesome post: Part 2. Making requests, an underestimated skill. =-.
Wilma,
Congratulations on following through. True calling is a scared process and I’m pleased and inspired that you’ve determined to honor it.
.-= Check out Tom Volkar / Big Link Rally´s awesome post: How To Find Your True Calling =-.
You’ve made a very inspiring and realistic post. Most of us want to achieve something, but we aren’t aware where to start everything. Maybe because we are usually overwhelmed by our desire to get what we want, even if it means we need to forget what actually make us happy.
Personally, I love what I’m doing now, working as a freelancer. Spending every second of my life based on my choice. In this way, I could extend my help with others anytime, without sacrificing my needs. Despite that, I’m still struggling in certain aspects of my career. Some of you might agree that there will come to a point that you already want to give up because of so many problems you always encounter. The only solution to be on the right track is to go back to where you started.
.-= Check out Paul Jean´s awesome post: Toned Abs: Debunking the Myths that Hold you Back =-.
Hi Barbara – and Tom!
Wow, what energy today! Thanks Barbara for putting Tom on – fabulous post!
Tom, I couldn’t agree more about the whole parenting issues and not being raised or trained to be connected to our knowing. I am so excited that now there is a consciousness movement afloat – you are a vital key to that with what you teach! I’m in my 60’s so I have seen/heard/felt a lot in my days and the changes and transformations – awareness too – that are going on today are so refreshing! Thank you for being a huge part of this!
The quest of “livelihood” certainly back-burnered my writing – it’s been fits and starts for decades. I know I ran from fear, substituting (or justifying?) care giving and responsibilities to others as a convenient excuse, yet pathetically whining for “my time”. Odd thing about aging, time ticks away and you wake up and say “If not NOW, it ain’t gonna happen kiddo!” (I’m sure it’s me slapping myself in the face causing the wrinkles! ha!)
I began blogging in January, didn’t know a thing about blogs, but wanted the discipline of writing regularly. In the process I dusted off many projects in various stages of incomplete, some just ideas. Well, imagine the surprise it’s been to get connected here. It’s like jet fuel to me now! I always felt writers wrote in the dark, waiting months for “acceptance” to get published – that’s how it WAS.
I don’t have a whole lifetime ahead of me yet, but I have a lot of productive years to get OUT what I feel I am supposed to – encourage and motivate people to be the best they can be at whatever they choose, show the value of humor and the peace of simplicity. If I can touch/help anyone along the way, I am truly blessed. If I can leave behind a book or two for people to stumble on and enjoy, so much the better!
Thank you, and Barb too, for all you do!
Hugs to you both!
suZen
.-= Check out suzen´s awesome post: No Fear, No Doubt, Just Fly!!!! =-.
Hi Tom and Barbara,
Thank you so much for introducing all of us to Tom. I loved this interview.
It is interesting that you mentioned how I found myself at a crossroad regarding my blog. Both paths related to my passions which are writing and spirituality. One seemed safer and more logical. The other is more of what I truly desire but was not sure how it would work. As life would have it, certain things kind of happened which made me realize that I need to take the road that is more in line with what I truly desire.
The nine components that Tom listed (which I did unknowingly) made me reach that crossroad but I do think on some level I always knew what I loved to do, I just did not see the how.
Blogging made the “how” more visible. I also think we each have a calling and sometimes we just do not hear that calling because as Tom so beautifully stated, we think abundance will not come with authenticity.
.-= Check out Nadia – Happy Lotus´s awesome post: What Do You Know For Certain? =-.
Hi Nadia,
Yes, I agree. Often our calling has been whispering to us for years, almost silently nudging us in the right direction. I’m so happy that you’ve taken a thorough approach to your alignment. I find that is the only sustainable way.
Seldom do I find someone who has worked all of the components without being previously aware of them. Kudos to you. I’m curious, how did you structure an environment conducive to your success?
.-= Check out Tom Volkar / Big Link Rally´s awesome post: First Be Authentic In Three Key Ways =-.
Hi Tom,
Thank you for the kind words. As for your question, I structured my environment based on realizations about what would work best for me. When you know yourself well enough, you know what works and does not work. So with that clarity combined with discipline, it really became easy.
I think when you are not sure about who you are and what works best for you, it is harder to structure your surroundings. I hope that answered the question. If not, please let me know. 🙂
.-= Check out Nadia – Happy Lotus´s awesome post: What Do You Know For Certain? =-.
Hi Nadia,
Thanks for responding to my question. Yes authenticity is an excellent guide when structuring ones environment. I just moved into a new home and I made the largest bedroom with the best view my office because I know what surroundings inspire me the most.
I asked the question to see if perhaps you had created other environments in addition to your physical one. I learned about six other personal environments studying the work of Thomas Leonard and I write about them in my guidebook.
Take care and keep being all of who you are.
.-= Check out Tom Volkar / Big Link Rally´s awesome post: First Be Authentic In Three Key Ways =-.
Hi Tom and Barbara,
What if you have several authentic callings? I mean if you have several basically unrelated passions that all “call” to you? I realize that you have to get on one horse and ride it for awhile… but prior to that? If they were basically equal according to your values, etc., as in your diagram, would you coach that person to pick one horse, try to combine them if possible, or co-develop them?
This example doesn’t apply to me in particular, but suppose one’s callings and talents/gifts were sports and music. Both are equal in passion intensity, fulfill values, and would be equally compelling for career. They are not compatible for combining. What do you recommend?
In your experience, how well is income potential (abundance) correlated to authenticity? The greater the passion, the greater the income potential? A one-to-one correlation? Exponential? (the build it and they will come approach).
Or is it more correlated with how well it serves others (the world’s great need)? (traditional fill-a-need business approach).
Obviously it has to have both (no authenticity= no passion = no motivation= no money), but I want to know what is a greater predictor of income potential.
In the Big Link Rally, what do you think is the key factor in linking authenticity to abundance? What will be the primary focus for your event?
Thanks!
Keena
.-= Check out Keena´s awesome post: Conscious Creation and the Current Danger =-.
Hi Keena,
Well you certainly win the questions prize, not one or two but eleven! 🙂
Good thing you grouped them like you did. First for us Scanners, (Barbara Sher’s term for variety freaks like you and I) all interests being equal where does one begin? That depends on your income needs. If making money now is important and all of your passions are equal in values and development I’d coach the client on developing the one that’s easiest to monetize first. Get that stream flowing to the point that you want, solidify it and then go to a second one, and then a third. But all at once is too diluted of a focus.
I really love this question. “In your experience, how well is income potential (abundance) correlated to authenticity? The greater the passion, the greater the income potential? A one-to-one correlation? Exponential?
Or is it more correlated with how well it serves others (the world’s great need)? ”
Interesting that you equate passion with authenticity. I don’t see them as the same thing at all. I have a passion for eating garlic/lemon chicken wings but they have nothing to do with my values and other right livelihood components.
Expressed authenticity is the complete alignment of who you are (all 9 components) with the work that you do. Until a calling is reconnected authentically it’s not a calling. So we have to start there at the foundation because if affects prosperity on all levels, earnings, fulfillment and enjoyment. So the biggest indicator of financial potential is not business need or passion it is authentic alignment.
That said, even when starting authentically aligned we can still do a very poor job of marketing, monetizing the calling and commercializing it into a business and that unfortunately affects our earnings potential. I’d like to believe that by nailing the calling the world will beat a path to your door. But my experience and the experience of countless others proves not.
So in answer to your excellent question, authenticity is the greatest indicator yet monetary success is also largely influenced by ones personal growth, personal productivity and business mastery. The good news is that working a calling is so energizing that we stick with it and make it all work for us and for those whom we serve.
Finally you’ve asked. “In the Big Link Rally, what do you think is the key factor in linking authenticity to abundance? What will be the primary focus for your event?”
The key factor is to replace ones toxic conditioning and accompanying limiting beliefs that it with unconditional acceptance, authentic recognition and sincere encouragement. Without that transformation the link will remain unconnected. So an environment that acts as an emotional and spiritual incubator for true calling discovery and development is absolutely essential. No one anywhere has experienced anything like this. Imagine the absolute high point of your life and then take it times 100. Imagine really caring about those other 99 people. Imagine knowing, without a doubt, that they genuinely care about you. The feel good energy of that environment will be off the charts!
Stumble upon an epiphany in an environment like that and you’ll have the confidence to bring it all the way to completion. That is priceless.
.-= Check out Tom Volkar / Big Link Rally´s awesome post: First Be Authentic In Three Key Ways =-.
Hi All,
I’ve been reading the comments as they come in and I first must say, “thank you so much for giving Tom such a warm welcome”.
As I look at Tom’s experience, where he’s been and where he’s heading, I felt he wold be the perfect person to interview so we can get a better understanding of where a blog can lead us. For some, a blog will lead us on a journey to a better future, and for others, it will be BECAUSE of the blog we dare to take those steps into the unknown. As many of you have already witnessed, it’s the cyber friends we meet along the way who become our support system; always encouraging us even when we doubt ourselves.
And Tom, again I thank you for sharing your knowledge with the readers here on this blog. Your teachings will undoubtedly help many.
For those of you who haven’t commented yet, please feel free to do so. Both Tom and I are following this post and rest assured, your questions and concerns will be addressed.
Much success is wished for all of you.
Hi Paul Jean,
You bring up my favorite aspect of self-employment, autonomy. Freedom of choice is what makes it all worthwhile. You sound determined and dedicated. I certainly can understand struggle. I’ve been there myself, often. The best course in that case is to look for the openings in themes and patterns. Often it’s a minor tweak to get things really flowing. But one must be willing to try many of them.
.-= Check out Tom Volkar / Big Link Rally´s awesome post: First Be Authentic In Three Key Ways =-.
Hi Suzen,
Thank you for recognizing the importance of growing beyond our limited parenting. I see each generation improving on that but unfortunately a lot of scarcity and fear still gets transferred. It’s up to each adult to transcend her or his parenting and choose anew. In the big link rallies we’ll be jump-starting that process. In your sixties, you have plenty of time to still be all that you were meant to be. Go for it!
.-= Check out Tom Volkar / Big Link Rally´s awesome post: First Be Authentic In Three Key Ways =-.
Tom,
I was wise enought to get into counseling when I was 27. Pretty early to get rid of everything I knew that I didn’t want to keep. I also learned how destructive self-judgment was. I’ve practiced for years and today when I fall back I gently take myself out of my ego’s grasp and come up for air.
I’m developing my life work as I go along on The Bold Life. Thanks for all of your insights!
.-= Check out Tess The Bold Life´s awesome post: Taking Bold Steps To Live Fully =-.
Hi Tess,
Wise indeed at such a young age. I love hearing these kinds of stories because it proves that suffering is optional. I acknowledge you for all the good that you do.
.-= Check out Tom Volkar / Big Link Rally´s awesome post: First Be Authentic In Three Key Ways =-.
I absolutely LOVE that all 9 points have a very positive flair to them, with definite calls to action. How can you not jump on board a joy train like that?
Tom, any plans to bring your Big Link Rally down Austin way?? I’ll be first in line. I think I’ve found my true calling but it can never hurt to get new inspiration. And of course, meeting you would be great. I actually finally met my first blogger IRL yesterday, and it’ s my mission to meet you other 200 BFFs before I leave this earthly realm. Seriously!
.-= Check out Jannie Funster´s awesome post: Like a bord on a wire, 12 — Funny Typos =-.
Hi Jannie,
No definite plans but Austin is a city I’d love to visit right after Denver. Yes for sure the rallies will be going on the road. I’d love to meet you as well but I don’t think we’d ever stop singing and laughing. Sounds like a great time. I make it a point to call and talk to one blogger or online friend weekly. I’ll put you on that happy list.
.-= Check out Tom Volkar / Big Link Rally´s awesome post: First Be Authentic In Three Key Ways =-.
I really appreciate this post today Barbara, Tom gave me a phone interview and some questions and quide lines to work on earlier this year. I have been following all his information for the Big Link and I am just so grateful for all his efforts on my behalf.
I some how did not come genetically programmed to make enough money to live on….so I have been working on that blocking energy – Oh I have made thousands of dollars for good causes along the way, but never for myself. Tom’s questions have helped me downsize this blockage and I think I am close to saying I can cast out this old pathway.
I believe my life work has been to help people be inspired to be the very best that they can be….and I have done this with great skill….now I want to earn enough money to pay my bills and live out my life…not just give it away free from the goodness and kindness that is my core.
Thank you Tom for all the connections and Barbara for getting the word out and about!
.-= Check out Patricia´s awesome post: Korny Zucchini Pizza =-.
Hi Patricia,
Keep working those points with the intention to earn well. The world needs your gladness and that includes you as a big earner. Just think of all the good you’ll be able to do once wealthy.
.-= Check out Tom Volkar / Big Link Rally´s awesome post: First Be Authentic In Three Key Ways =-.
I realize I’m committing a heinous blogging crime by leaving a comment that doesn’t really, “add to the conversation,” but I just want to thank Barbara for hosing Tom.
I love Tom’s message (and your blog, Barbara), agree, and am simply here to say thank you.
I am incredibly passionate about loving what one does for a career and life work. My favorite tag line of all time is from the Life is Good folks, a clothing company, “Like What You Do – Do What You Like.”
That pretty much sums it up.
Thanks again, Barbara and Tom!
Cheers to both of you!
~xo
.-= Check out Lori´s awesome post: Are You Hazarding Your Best? =-.
Hi Lori,
Indeed that do what you like part is even more delicious because it’s a bit naughty as well. I love it when folks let it all hang out in pursuit of calling. Gratitude back at you for your example.
.-= Check out Tom Volkar / Big Link Rally´s awesome post: First Be Authentic In Three Key Ways =-.
Hey Barbara, sorry this is so OT. My apologies for being gone so long but my current post describes it a bit. I’m ready now to re-subscribe and get back into your awesome blog! Slowly at first until I get full swing again. 🙂
Great post Tom. 🙂
.-= Check out Dennis Edell´s awesome post: What I’m Doing – What You Should Expect In The Very Near Future. 🙂 =-.
Hi Dennis,
I’m pleased you enjoyed it and I invite you to use it as inspiration to go for your calling. The world needs all of you to be complete.
.-= Check out Tom Volkar / Big Link Rally´s awesome post: First Be Authentic In Three Key Ways =-.
Hi Dennis,
Thank you for dropping in and letting me know you’re back at it. You’ve been missed in blogosphere. Welcome back! 🙂
Hey Barbara, thanks for the welcome, and thanks again for dropping by my place. 🙂
.-= Check out Dennis Edell´s awesome post: As Promised – An End Of The Year Advertising Special! =-.
I feel like I am in my sweet spot with my business. It is so much fun and is growing.
Can you give some examples of “vision” that you mentioned in your interview? How is that different than goal setting?
Hi Laurie,
I’d love to. A vision is an ideal future picture of your true calling materialized. it has vivid five sense detail and can be imagined as powerfully as if it is already being enjoyed by you. A vision uses our emotional and intellectual faculties to create the feelings behind the picture. Almost daily I see a picture of smiling and pleasantly surprised participants at my rally. My goal is to have 100 registrants by Thanksgiving. My vision is to imagine them all having the time of their lives. See the difference?
.-= Check out Tom Volkar / Big Link Rally´s awesome post: First Be Authentic In Three Key Ways =-.
That helps a ton Tom, thanks!
The goal for my business is to book 60 presentations this year. My vision is to inspire teachers to teach with more imagination and enthusiasm, taking kids to a deeper level of understanding, and to ignite kids love for science and to appreciate how awesome our world is.
Hi Tom,
I was rereading your free ebook “9 Compass Points of the True Calling Process” and on page seven you mention how we often choose a “smaller” dream, but then have difficulties seeing it materialize.
You also mention we won’t necessarily find our true calling that way (by not going after the BIG dream).
But wouldn’t that be a good stepping stone? You know, start small and grow from there?
Hi Barbara,
Good question. In my experience true callings are always grand ideas with movements behind them. Playing small is not the same as starting small. Playing small would have one shrinking from a movement that would affect the lives of thousands. That’s what folks do when they compromise and pick a smaller dream. That’s playing small. But you could still start small (in fact there is always a first step) in accepting the mission of a movement.
Let me know if I’ve made the distinction clear and thanks again for the opportunity to speak about my movement and to connect with your wonderful readers.
.-= Check out Tom Volkar / Big Link Rally´s awesome post: First Be Authentic In Three Key Ways =-.
You’re very welcome Tom,
I get it now. I see it as we need to DREAM big, but don’t necessarily have to START big in order to live our calling. The big dream should just continue to remain our final destination (plus or minus a tweak here or there).
Barbara thanks for hosting so well! 😉
I enjoy your blogs so much!
Tom, I have a question for you and I believe that I was meant to divinely stumble over here tonight 😉
I have a fear of “settling” and the courage to wait for I feel that I must “not settle”.. but where do I draw the line between ‘waiting when maybe I should move forward’ and push my own project or do I keep believing that my miracle is here and is unfolding just as it should. It feels right but I guess it could go either way at this point. I just don’t want to miss the boat … but i don’t want to take the canoe if I’m getting something that will honor the project more if i am patient a bit longer. Or does the canoe take me to the bigger boat? arrgh. How long do I wait (when my intuition is giving me listening mode and subtle nudges) and does the authentic path have parallels to the same mission? I don’t want to make the wrong or less honorable choice when it is a Spirit project.
I do not wish to settle for I am on the authentic path, so I am ‘listening’ and receiving some signs of possibilities. I am trying to adjust my perspective that the divine project which I am cultivating on this path is moving more into the light, however, I feel at a crossroads. I know that I must act as a CEO now in my thoughts for I have more spirit power within who is the Real and yet Spirit focuses on what is natural to unfold, not so much strategy. Somewhere in the middle, I reside.. trying to catch each nudge and follow through as best I can.
Interested to hear your feedback and hope I am making sense.
~Jenn
.-= Check out Love’s Leading Companion´s awesome post: Love in a Time of Global (Uncertainty)~Awakening: =-.
Hi Jenn,
When people settle they have definite knowledge that the project is either less authentic than it could be or smaller in some way. If it feels right to you and is aligned with who you are, begin. All callings require evolvement that comes from practice. There exists a powerful business concept called the corridor theory. It states that we don’t know which doors will open (opportunities) until we begin walking down the highest and best path that we can imagine now. Make sure that you haven’t compromised on the size or impact of your project in any way and then get walking. Trust is the operative word for you. The world is waiting to support your calling.
.-= Check out Tom Volkar / Big Link Rally´s awesome post: How To Find Your True Calling =-.
Thank you Tom for your kind and helpful response! Warmly, Jenn
.-= Check out Love’s Leading Companion´s awesome post: Love in a Time of Global (Uncertainty)~Awakening: =-.