The Art Of Persuasion

Remember when we had the discussion on needing to sell ourselves and our blogs in order to get discovered and read? Well, when I landed on this week’s “Blog of the Week”, I felt I found a blog that could teach us just that.

This author has not only studied how to influence others, but he has also worked for a “well established coaching and training company”. It was there he discovered his passion.

A passion to help others communicate more successfully.

I love what he says in his “About” page.

The most important thing I learned about communication is: IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU, IT’S ABOUT THE PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU.

Isn’t that the truth. We can talk and/or write until we’re blue in the face, but if we don’t consider our audience, all may be for naught.

As I was digging through his archives I found gem titled A Million Ways to Make a Million Dollars in which he teaches us several techniques to become more persuasive. In part, he says,

Since becoming successful begins with you, it is important to convince yourself on your ideas. Have you ever ‘pitched’ an idea to someone even though you only partially believed it? What about the opposite, pitching an idea and standing as sturdy as a surfboard behind it? Obviously when you stand behind something with passion and power, you are more likely to get your point across. So now the question is how do we do this? How do we persuade ourselves to be confident, to be irresistible, and to be unstoppable?

What really stood out for me was the part about being passionate about what we’re “selling”. Whether we’re selling others on us, our blogs or on a product, if we don’t believe in it, we certainly can’t expect others to.

In 32 Questions: 20 Empowering & 12, Not so Much, he reminds us,

…Your mind is created to function and tic a certain way. When you ask your mind a question, it will ALWAYS look for an answer. So by asking yourself negative questions, you’ll get negative answers. What I’m about to share with you CAN be something that will dramatically change your life forever. …Imagine if you asked yourself questions like, “How can I get stronger?” “How do I get smarter?” “What should I do to make money now?” Do you want to know the answers to those questions?…

He then goes on to share questions we can ask ourselves. Which ones we choose and how we answer is up to us.

The suspense is over.

Drum roll please.

The blog I’m showcasing today is authored by AJ Kumar and is titled, Persuasive.net

Please join me in welcoming AJ to the Blogging Without A Blog community.

Welcome AJ.

Thank you for leaving your profile in the Blog Registry as that is how I found you.

signature for blog post.

P.S. You can also follow AJ on Twitter.


Photo Credit: jspatchwork

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  1. DavinaNo Gravatar says:

    Hi Barbara, and Hi AJ.

    This is a powerful statement: “The most important thing I learned about communication is: IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU, IT’S ABOUT THE PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU.” Agreed! As soon as we make it all about us, we lose connection with other people and then they HAVE to be persuaded… or at least, we feel we have to persuade them. It really does release a lot of pressure when we get out of our own way. Thanks for introducing AJ.

    Davina´s last blog post..Positively Breathing — Affirmation 4

  2. I can always learn about becoming my persuasive with my writing – thanks for the review Barbara. Off to check out the site now!

    Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome´s last blog post..How Not to Follow Your Dreams

  3. This is really interesting stuff. I noticed as I’ve been reading ‘my blogs’ (your blogs, I just call them mine) my mind is changing. I had no intention of marketing, promoting, looking good (i.e. my blog) and so on but now I’m thinking, why not? I do have something to offer.

    Had the quickest squiz at AJ’s blog (will go back later for a good long read). It’s just what I need right now. Thanks Barbara – your blog is one of ‘my blogs’ cos it’s wonderfully helpful.

    Paisley (Paisley Thoughts)´s last blog post..My ‘Salad Days’

  4. Great ideas! But I do disagree with:

    “When you ask your mind a question, it will ALWAYS look for an answer. So by asking yourself negative questions, you’ll get negative answers.”

    ie, “Why am I failing?”

    “Because I haven’t yet found what works. ” That’s not negative, that’s life. Ergo, turn on a dime and keep exploring.

    Data points, Barbara

    Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach´s last blog post..Seaside man to talk swiveling stirrups on CBS (The Monterey County Herald)

  5. Once again, you’ve found another “winner” Barbara!!! This looks like another “must subscribe” blog for the serious writer!

    Kathy | Virtual Impax´s last blog post..Blogs and the Art of Deception

  6. Lori HoeckNo Gravatar says:

    Hi AJ and Barbara,
    I had to laugh when I went to Persuasive.net. The list of blog headlines call insistently to me to read them … now! That’s a big enough selling point for me. Well that, and Barbara’s stamp of approval.

    Lori Hoeck´s last blog post..No one wants this kind of relationship!

  7. Sounds like a real winner!

    “How can I get stronger?” “How do I get smarter?” The right questions for sure, positive thoughts rule!

    Jannie Funster´s last blog post..Bord on a wire, 9 & 10 1/2

  8. Great recommendation, Barbara, thanks. I’ve checked out his site and he certainly has a lot to offer.

  9. LindaNo Gravatar says:

    Thanks for sharing AJ’s site. Very interesting reading.

    Linda´s last blog post..Greensburg Goes To China

  10. AJ KumarNo Gravatar says:

    Thank you Barbara for having me showcased on your wonderful site 🙂

    Also thank everyone for the great comments!

    @Barbara Ling: I can completely appreciate why you disagree with that sentence, so I figure I’d clarify it for you.

    Asking yourself “why am I failing” is negative because your mind will give you all the reasons why your failing. Yes I do understand that you will continue to move forward regardless, but that isn’t the point. The point is personal development. Learning to change. So when you change your internal question to: how can I become successful today (next week, 1 month etc.), you will work much harder at finding the answer.

    Instead of having your brain continuously go over all of your failures, why not put 100% of the focus on developing and creating new ideas.

    Does that make sense?

    AJ Kumar´s last blog post..120 Persuasive Words That Build Rapport (VAK)

  11. The art of persuasion and the art of influencing authentically are critical skills if you want to receive value for your efforts. Believing in what you do is priceless.

    Stacey / Create a Balance´s last blog post..Authentic Happiness Series – Part Five (Design Your Life)

  12. Wow, another hit outta the park, Barbara! AJ gave me a knowledge gift in the first post I read over at his site. Awesome! Thanks to both of you.

    Betsy Wuebker´s last blog post..MOM, PATRICIA TAGGED ME!

  13. It’s imperative that we believe in the services we offer. So much on the net speaks of grabbing hold of a currently hot niche area and trying to capitalize on it for as long as is possible.

    As we’ve seen – these niche blogs come and go. AJ, sites like yours – and Barbara’s here at Blogging without a Blog show us the value of sticking to subjects and concepts that we can dig into and explore over time.

  14. Awesome! Thanks so much for sharing this with us! 🙂

  15. LanceNo Gravatar says:

    Great choice Barbara! What a cool looking site.

    AJ – Congratulations on this honor Barbara has bestowed upon you! Very deserving. Your site looks great, and the material you present is top-notch info for all of us to have!

    Lance´s last blog post..This Is Funtertainment

  16. I endorse AJ’s message of self belief in our own services. We must be fierce advocates for the services we offer. Sincere confidence is most attractive and success becomes an unnecessarily hard fought battle without it.

    Tom Volkar / Delightful Work´s last blog post..Is Your Inner Child Still Running Your Life?

  17. AJ KumarNo Gravatar says:

    Thanks for all the praise guys! Like I was telling Barbara, the more readers I get, the more and more I love to powerful new posts.

    AJ Kumar´s last blog post..Persuade Someone in 5 Steps

  18. Barbara SwaffordNo Gravatar says:

    Thank you all for the great comments and for the support you’re showing in my choice of AJ and his blog. I truly appreciate it.

    As many of you have seen, AJ’s blog is a superb resource for those of us who want to learn more about the art of persuasion as well as selling ourselves and our blogs.

    Hi AJ – You’re very welcome. It was my pleasure and honor to shed more light on your blog and the fabulous information you are contributing to blogosphere. I wish you well in all of your endeavors.

    P.S. I’ll be watching to see your name in lights. 🙂

  19. TracyNo Gravatar says:

    Hi AJ! I’m looking forward to checking out your blog. Thanks Barbara for sharing another gem!

    Tracy´s last blog post..Beef Cheek Casserole

  20. Evelyn LimNo Gravatar says:

    The communication quote reminds me of what I learn from a famous NLP saying: The meaning of communication is in the response we get.

    Also thumbs up to the advice of being confident in what we are selling. I think confidence also comes when the product or service we are offering is an expression of who we are. If there is no internal alignment, we will half-believe in the things we are selling.

    Evelyn Lim´s last blog post..Master Your Life Lessons

  21. RobinNo Gravatar says:

    Hi Barbara – AJ’s ideas sound great! If we have a passion for what we are saying then it makes all the difference to how it is received, and that principle certainly applies to blogging. Thanks for finding another great blog! – R

    Robin´s last blog post..Wanting To Look Young

  22. Welcome, AJ, and thank you for words that make me think…and rethink.

  23. TumblemooseNo Gravatar says:

    Barbara,

    You can sure pick ’em.

    Nice communication stuff, AJ. I’m happy to visit your site and It’ll be great to have you in this community!

    Cheers

    George

    Tumblemoose´s last blog post..What Kindergarten taught me about writing today

  24. I’ve heard the “ask yourself questions” phrase before and you know what I did? Nothing!

    I thought “yeah thats a great idea” but then went on with my life like I’d never heard it before.

    Well I just started to do it. I thought I’d finally do it. And you wouldn’t believe how much of an impact its making. I’ve been worried about a few things at work but without going into details – they’re no longer worries!! I’ve got solutions. And I’m going to be moving forward!

    Spanish Films´s last blog post..Spanish Cinema

  25. PatriciaNo Gravatar says:

    I am on my way to check out your NBOTW and am expecting it to be great with all these wonderful comments – but I would not expect otherwise.
    Another from your registry, the good ones just come to you…

    smart! savvy women just know!

    Patricia´s last blog post..Blogger Dad – Blame Tara Meme

  26. SaraNo Gravatar says:

    Hello Barbara and AJ,

    I really enjoyed this post. I liked the part where AJ talked about how our minds responds to the questions asked. Therefore asking negative questions, brings negative answers while positive brings positive answers. It’s one of those things that makes PERFECT sense, but I forget to do too many times. I will have to practice this!

    Thank you Barbara for sharing AJ with us. He obviously is a very good teacher and I look forward to visiting his blog:~)

    Sara´s last blog post..You Can Reach Beyond Your Fear

  27. Dr. KNo Gravatar says:

    Hi, great post, thank you.
    I’m a fan of persuasive communication. I like to see the good guys win because they’re more persuasive, and people with harmful agendas fail because the good folks are able to pay attention past all the techniques to what’s really being proposed. A.J.’s blog has plenty of great tips for improving your ability to build support for your ideas and initiatives. Persuasion is about helping people get where they want to go rather than where I want them to go. So I love the core idea of this post, “It’s not about you, it’s about the person in front of you.” That said,

    1. Maybe it’s just me, but this idea that when you ask your mind negative questions, you get negative answers, and that negative answers aren’t as valuable as positive ones, doesn’t actually make sense to me. But then I’ve never really gotten along with what I commonly hear about negativity in general, because I take issue with the idea that somehow negative is bad, positive is good. I think negative can be a positive thing. And positive can be a negative thing. For example, we learn more from negative than positive experiences, and thus have more to contribute as a result. Further, negative creates contrast, contrast leads to meaningful differences. Finally, sometimes negative is positive. A little fear gets us going, moves us out of the way, gives us a kick in the rear when the positive focus temporarily loses its attractiveness (too much of a good thing) I think it is more useful to use both positive and negative together, mix desire with fear, as a way of creating sustained and sustainable motivation.
    2. Much of this had to do with how we talk to ourselves. But not everyone has such an active internal dialog that they are asking themselves questions, positive or negative. I have a fairly quiet mind and don’t really know what I think unless I’m talking or writing. It’s why I love writing, actually. I don’t ask myself any questions unless i have a specific project or purpose for it. And when I do ask myself questions, whether positive or negative, they are in service to a mission, goal, purpose or plan. “What don’t I like about this?” is a useful question. “What’s wrong with this picture?” has protective power. And “What didn’t work?” is a great way to learn from experience.
    3. I confess: I’m disappointed to find Speed Seduction as the lead post on A.J.’s blog today. I think that ‘getting people to do stuff’ in this form isn’t persuasion, it’s a kind of coercion, an abuse of communication power that comes at a terrible price – the loss of trust. Ewwwwww. In fact, I find the whole idea of using persuasion to get people to do things,’ or ‘think things’ or ‘feel things’ like it’s an operation on them instead of a relationship with them to be off-putting and counterproductive.

    Thanks Barbara for all you do, and best wishes,
    Rick

    Dr. K´s last blog post..Life Skills – Quick! Think Fast!

  28. Persuasion is about helping people get where they want to go rather than where I want them to go. Awesome! Thanks so much for sharing this with us!
    .-= Check out best life coaching´s awesome post: CNN- 10 Tips for Getting a Pay Raise in a Recession =-.

  29. This is a powerful statement: “The most important thing I learned from this is about communication is: IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU, IT’S ABOUT THE PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU.Thank you Barbara for sharing information.
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  30. This is a powerful statement:I am on my way to check out your NBOTW and am expecting it to be great with all these wonderful comments Thank you Barbara for sharing information.
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  31. Your site looks great, and the material you present is top-notch info for all of us to have! your blog is wonderfully helpful. Thank you Barbara for sharing information.
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