Betsy of Passing Thru forwarded this article to me titled Permission To Dump Online Comments.
To quote the author, Renee Oricchio, she says,
…If it’s not filtering out spammers, then it’s leeching away your psychic energy while you figure out how to respond to that 800 word 10 point comment that eviscerates you, your posting and/or your company. Enough already!
Renee also shared a link to a study which states, in part,
…most posts contain negative emotions and the most active users in individual threads express predominantly negative sentiments.
Digging deeper, I also found this information:
…Growing evidence indicates that negative emotions may influence the development of CHD [coronary heart disease]. The focused and specific consideration of negative emotions and their possible role in the etiology of CHD gives insight into current knowledge and suggests important directions for future research.
Today’s Lesson
Of the blogs I frequent, I don’t see a lot of negative comments. Maybe it’s because 1) I don’t always have the time to read the comments, or 2) the blogs I frequent are not the type which would attract negative comments.
That said, I have landed on sites (usually political) where the comments are horrendous – filled with negativity as well as bleeped out curse words and innuendos of how some people should never have been born. The words make me cringe.
Fellow blogger Vered recently closed the comment section on her personal blog. In her post she shared,
…I am fed up with aggressive, mean comments that are affecting my writing and my mood. You don’t even see these comments – I have been moderating comments heavily for the past year or so – but even if I don’t publish them, I still see them.
My heart goes out to Vered. It was via comments on her blog and mine we become online friends, and although I know I can contact her on Facebook or via email, it won’t be the same as being part of her blogging community. I am saddened it came to this.
As much as comments are something many bloggers live for, there comes a time when we must weigh their benefits. Not only can managing comments take time away from the reason(s) why we blog, as suggested by the above mentioned article, dealing with negative comments could be detrimental to our heart health.
It’s often said “kind words are “heartfelt”.”
And from what I’m reading, it appears the negative words are, too. 🙁
Today’s Assignment
Do you think certain blog topics attract more negative comments than others?
What would you do if comment trolls began to attack you and/or your writing?
Care to share?
~Barbara
Negative comments are better than no comments at all.
Hi Rick,
I think it depends on what’s negative about the comment. If the comment author is disagreeing with what we shared that’s one thing, but if they’re attacking us (personally), that’s another story.
Certainly there are going to be some topics that attract negative comments and when the post goes against the commenters’ agenda, cause, belief, position, etc., then the commenters can become quite passionate.
Negative comments are fine, so long as they are constructive. Mean and aggressive comments are not. Comments spewing bigotry and hate are totally unacceptable.
My blog has a comment policy ( http://exit78.com/about/comment-policy/ ). Fortunately, I’ve not had to enforce it but a couple of times — and I think those comments were actually spam.
If I were to get comments that violated that policy, I’d enforce the policy.
If my blog became the target of comment trolls, I follow Vered’s example, except that I would shut down comments for a period of time and then open them back up. The troll bullies probably would have moved on to other targets.
Hi Mike,
Yes. Some comments are actually spam and are not negative comments directed at us or our post. Sometimes it can be difficult to tell, but by looking closely at the URL we often find those comments are “canned” spam.
Hi Barbara! I would think political or religious writings would draw a lot of negativity just because the climate of tolerance melted away when nobody was looking. It feels like the world has become impatient, intolerant and angry sometimes, no matter the topic, but I’d think politics would really bring out “the ugly” since it can be polarizing.
I’m so sorry Vered closed her comments but I respect the fact that she did what she felt was right for her. Like you, I’ve “met” great on line friends thru blogging comments – you being one! 🙂
So far no defenders of junk food, the anti-nutrition folks, have either not found me, are too busy laughing at me to comment, or avoid nutritionists by wearing necklaces of chicken mcnuggets and believe I’m a heretic. Any one of which is fine by me! 🙂
hugs
suZen
Thank you Suzen,
You’re right. Some topics can be very polarizing and bring out the worst in people. Although some may agree to disagree, others feel it’s their way or the highway.
p.s. Negativity IS bad for your health! Each cell in our body picks up on our thoughts, the energy of those thoughts as well. I’ve found cellular biology to be the most revealing scientific proof of this – it is fascinating and almost unbelieveable! Even Dr. Dean Ornish (world famous for his programs to reverse cardiac diseases) stresses meditation to clear the mind with so much emphasis on avoiding negative energies.
How fascinating Suzen,
I’m going to check into cellular biology and learn more about how negativity can affect us. Thank you for the heads up on that.
I don’t have a commenting policy for my blog, but if someone posts nasty things, I’ll probably either make fun of them or just delete it. It’s my blog and I reserve the right to delete anything on a whim.
I’ve always held the belief that what someone says about me is more about them than about me anyway. I believe that as human, we project. So these things don’t really stress me out.
Hi Kelvin,
I hear you. If we really listen to what others are saying, or spouting off about, we can learn more about them and their issues.
And yes, as blog authors, it’s our prerogative to approve or disapprove comment for ANY reason.
Spot on! As a blog owner / author, you have the right to approve whatever comments float your boat. It’s the same thing as not allowing people you don’t like in your home. It’s private property… so either take it or leave it.
On the other hand… why be nasty in a blog comment when you can come up with arguments like real people do ? I’ll never understand that…
I think having a policy is a good idea. My blog is upbeat and seldom controversial. I did have one lady who was disappointed when she expected to find a lot of recipes on my site and found that the homepage was about time management and organizing. I kept her comment posted and apologized if she felt mislead. Her next reply was also apologetic and all was well.
Hi Sinea,
Yes. A comment policy can be beneficial.
I like your idea of responding to your disappointed visitor and not deleting the comment. As you mentioned, when she returned she noted she was mistaken.
Thanks Barbara – for the support and for the mention.
Needless to say, I disagree with Rick – it is my belief that negative comments are not better than no comments at all.:)
You’re welcome Vered,
As much as I will miss you in your blog comment section, I know I can always find you on Facebook. 🙂
If you can ignore negative comments and just trash them, you won’t lose sleep over it but I guess being human, we do simply let it affect us unconsciously. Too many comments on a popular blog can be a hindrance sometimes and unproductive too. Maybe we can follow Leo Babauta’s ZenHabits style – no comments but leave him a message on twitter if you like.
Hi Alfee,
That’s true. Even though we can just delete negative comments, just reading them can affect us long after they’re marked as spam.
Negativity has a nasty way of sticking to our souls like fuzz to a roll of velcro. It is toxic. It can be dislodged, but it requires quite an effort to stop any unhealthy effects.
It is important that we take care of ourselves in the manner best suited to each of our standards, styles and tastes.
Hi Amy,
Isn’t that the truth? Negativity can be VERY toxic and with it all around us, I think it’s important we constantly monitor what we’re listening to and/or reading.
Hi Barbara,
Even though mine is an inspirational blog promoting peace and joy..I have received quite a few comments questioning my character (as in I must live in a bubble to promote such a life!)..Each time I am surprised and saddened, yet I realize that what I promote is not always “mainstream” and new and different tends to evoke fear, so perhaps then I am planting seeds?
I do believe if you do not agree with the ideas of the author, you may choose not to read the article..and since I promote peace I make the choice not to publish comments less than peace filled.
I am sorry that Vered felt the need to close comments..I love the comment section because it expands upon the author’s insights, and like you I have made valuable connections through comments.
Everyone has the right to express their opinion, but common courtesy and manners should be honored…
Hi Joy,
Your comment reminded me how in some cases, those who leave negative comments may be jealous of the blog author. Like you, you’ve found peace in your life (which isn’t always easy to do) so those who doubt your credibility may be secretly wanting the same.
Hi Barbara – Thanks for the mention. I thought you might have a follow-up to Vered’s decision, which I know was not made lightly. I appreciate Vered’s choice, and I’m also appreciative that she made it after we had the benefit of her father’s lovely words in her comment section. Her tribute to him and his loving response was absolutely beautiful.
I’ve deleted several (not many at all) negative comments on PassingThru. It’s not that I want an echo chamber of agreement; I’m pretty vocal about my opinions, especially the political, as you know. And it doesn’t bother me to defend them in the face of disagreement. But I will call out inappropriate, illogical and hypocritical behavior/communication.
There is a time and a place for everything and we decided politics belonged elsewhere than PassingThru. That was a good decision, I think. Not everyone can disassociate sufficiently from their political opinions to engage in lively discussion without feeling personally affronted.
Good boundaries make for good relationships. No one owes someone a voice. If someone wants to post negative and hurtful things, there are any number of places where they are free to put up their own blog. But that’s not what we’re talking about. Habitual trolls don’t want to blog; instead they are attention-seekers that use comparative evaluations to assess their own worth. The negative tactics are used to elevate themselves in their own estimation. It’s not about the venue where the comments are made or the topic itself. It’s about them, period. I choose not to enable similar behavior in real life and I’m certainly not going to do it online. 🙂
You’re welcome Betsy,
Thank you for explaining who trolls are and what their agenda is. I think for the new blogger (and some seasoned bloggers), being attacked by trolls can be extremely intimidating and hurtful. What you said is a good reminder for all of us to “consider the source”, mark those comments as spam (which they are) and move forward.
Hi Barbara,
I have no problem deleting negative comments, especially if it is the first time someone has visited/commented on my blog. I give more leeway with a regular commentor – I’m not likely to delete their negative comment.
The negative energy from these folks intent on spreading their vitriol is not welcome on my blog.
So far, no backfires on dumping the negative comments.
George
Hi George,
I think that’s a good practice. If a troll (for lack of a better word) finds out you are not going to engage with them, they will move on. Oftentimes I think they’re out to create drama. Kinda hard to do if their comment never sees the light of day.
Yes, I guess it is true negative people are more prone to getting the illness than people with a positive mental attitude. But we must not also forget the fact that we cannot please everybody.
Hi Gegejhordan,
You’re right. What we share will not please everyone, thus there will be times when a commenter will disagree.
Negativity can be helpful if said politely. We can find out what we’re doing wrong or consider things from another perspective. It’s when the negativity is harsh and hurtful that it’s out of line. Constructive criticism is one thing. Saying someone shouldn’t have ever been born is completely different. That kind of comment should be deleted, whether it’s a first comment or not.
Hi Jane,
I agree. We can learn from constructive criticism, both on the blog and in the real world. But like you said, harsh and hurtful words are not acceptable.
Hi Barbara .. when I started blogging I made the concerted effort a) to blog about positive things, and make positive comments or if I didn’t like what I saw .. to leave & not comment at all.
I get a few comments with other view points in – but that’s fine, it’s opening the door to another thread, and I know I post occasionally with thought provoking thoughts – but in the main I stay along the positive route, without being patronising.
If I don’t like something – I don’t go there .. and I’m happy to be corrected.
Occasionally I’ll get an odd comment, usually from someone I don’t know – then it gets left in moderation .. until I get fed up with sitting there (having given them the benefit of the doubt to return if they so wish) before I delete it.
However if the blog is in a niche that could be provocative .. it’s very difficult …
However when someone like Vered feels she has to close her blog to comments, that’s very sad as it deprives us all.
People are saddos sometimes .. thank goodness most of us are not – but as is always the case – the few mess it up for the others.
Good thoughts – better read the comments now! Cheers Hilary
Thank you Hilary,
I do that too; where I leave a comment in moderation because I don’t know how to handle it. I don’t get very many negative comments, but I do get some I can’t figure out if they’re spam or not. Like you, sometimes I just hit “delete”. 🙂
LOL, Nice blog title. I’ve certainly heard that dwelling on negative attitudes or bad feelings can in fact effect your health.
>>I am fed up with aggressive, mean comments that are affecting my writing and my mood
It’s an interesting thing that’s happened with the internet — it’s allowed people to sort of pseudo-anonymously vent their aggression in an often over-the-top manor. There’s a culture of mean-spirited behavior that’s permeating through the internet… a kind of hyper-negativity.
freddy k
Thank you Freddy,
You know, I wonder if being able to comment anonymously only feeds the negativity. When you think about it, if someone can leave a fake name and email address, they don’t have to worry about being held accountable for their words (that is, until they look in the mirror).
I have found that political and religious blogs seem to both draw a lot of negative comments. I run a Christian blog myself, and although I have not received negative comments, I know others in the same blogging category that seem to make it their mission to stir others up and attack others.
That is very challenging for me, because their blog is also a “Christian” blog, so a lot of Christian blogs may have something of value to share, yet because of a few bad apples, we are ultimately dismissed.
I think it is the same for political blogs. Politics are a hot topic with so many people. Check out Fox or CNN, those guys spends countless hours in the day arguing with each other.
I don’t recall ever leaving a negative comment on someone’s blog. If anything I may have been misunderstood in my attempt to understand what they are trying to say. Hope that makes sense!
Hi Whitt,
Yes. I do know what you’re saying.
That’s true. If we turn on the TV we see the same thing – bickering and arguing about who’s right, who’s wrong. As a viewer, (or a reader of blogs) it’s up to us to be a wise consumer (of information) and make a decision based on that.
I do a lot of reading online, blogs, articles, facebook comments, etc. The negativity that I find seems to be increasing. I understand having an opinion but we, as a whole, seem to be missing tack. I see the boldness that we have with a virtual world overflowing into our regular, real lives. It is disheartening. I have also seen friendships and family relationships ruined over the nastiness. At the same time, reading some of the comments has provided me some entertainment.
Hi Jason,
LOL. Yes, reading “SOME” of the negative comments can be entertaining, but I sure wouldn’t way a steady diet of them. 🙂
Like you, I see the negativity on social networking sites too. In fact, when I share articles I find, I ask myself, “will this be construed as negative, or will they realize I’m sharing with hopes others will be more informed?
From where i stand, i see some of the most active blogs in terms of commenting to have many negative comments, as these topics are ones which are debatable ones, and more often than not, not everyone will agree with the admins post.
Debate is all part of blogging, without it everyone would simply agree and blogging would be boring!
Although using foul language and offensive terms are tottally out of order!
Hi Conference Call,
I know what you’re saying. If all of the comments were pats on the back for the blog author, it would be a real bore to read them. What I’ve found is it’s often in the comment section I find the answer I’m looking for, especially on techie blogs where the author may have written “over my head”.
Even if one chooses to disagree, there is a way of writing instead of spewing venom and hatred. The word ‘negative’ is quite a strong one which can send wrong signals. Negativity is something that comes from within a person and not the written content. One always has the power of choice. Inspite of disagreeing with many thoughts, some people put it across quite well better than the others.
It is NOT the post’s content that triggers negativity but the person’s attitude.
Hope you are doing great, dear Barbara.
Joy always,
Susan
Thank you Susan,
I like how you put that, “Negativity is something that comes from within a person and not the written content.” It’s a deep issue, isn’t it?
That’s true. Attitude can trigger negativity. And without us realizing, our words can show “attitude”, too.
P.S. I’m good. Hope you are too. 🙂
Barbara,
What happened to Vered bothers me greatly. I think these people are like gangs who find a site and decide to trash and burn. It saddens me Vered had to close comments, but that’s probably what I would do, as well. Yet, even I say this, I feel angry about it.
It seems to me the blogosphere is a community and we ALL have a responsibility to ensure, people don’t have to shut their doors when the “gangs” arrive. I don’t have a solution for how to do this, but I think it’s not just one person’s problem; it’s belongs to all of us who blog. The question is how do we help our neighbor, like Vered, and still keep the freedom of blogging?
As I write this, it saddens me even more to think that our online world mirrors the same problems we have in our offline world. Instead of guns and gasoline bombs, people are using words as weapons of destruction.
Hi Sara,
Yes. It is sad. And as you said, words are being used as weapons. Who knew that’s what would happen online, all in the name of “free speech”?
You raised a good point, Sara. It is up to ALL of us to blog responsibly and help our “online neighbors” when we can. That’s what makes blogging so rewarding. We’re in this together. 🙂
I completely agree that some posts can arise negative reaction but that’s the life. Sometimes even the most innocent article can be provoking and comments can be …. unexpected.
To delete them or close or leave as is depends on your character. Some bloggers don’t like (and don’t tolerate) any other opinions and they can’t accept them. Personally I wouldn’t delete comments BUT if they offend my dignity, I will ban such ‘commentators’. I think if you want to express your opinion. do it but without insulting people.
Hi Anna,
I know. Some of the most innocent sounding posts can ignite unexpected emotions is others.
Yes. There is a way to disagree without insulting others, but maybe that’s how they handle disagreements in real life., too 🙁
Hi Barbara–This is a very interesting and topical post. Here are a couple more examples of the loss of potentially enjoyable discourse through blog comments:
When Jason Calacanis (the one-time premier high-tech startup blogger) shut his blog down, he called a national press conference to explain why he was shutting it down. At his press conference he excoriated the mean-spirited and downright nasty commenters that had somewhat taken over his comment section. He had simply had enough and shut his blog down entirely.
A few months ago, business guru Tom Peters shut off his comments without explanation, but I noticed earlier that comments on his blog were becoming quite personal between commenters and quickly got off subject.
I guess my own comment policy is a little harsher than most. I thoroughly enjoy helping people with real business problems and questions, and I love controversial comments if the commenter is willing to engage in an intelligent debate…but I always trash any comment that doesn’t sound sincere and intelligent. Since I am not monetizing my blog I am not seeking large numbers of commenters, so maybe it is easier for me to cut out marginal comments.
Whenever I get a particularly nasty comment I have this picture in my mind’s eye of a gray-pallor’d soul sitting in a darkened room in front of their computer, while eating a cold TV dinner and envying everyone else who has the wherewithal to actually create a blog or website. I then feel very sorry for that person and know that the problem is not with me, or my writing, but with them.
Unfortunately, it appears that society at large is becoming more mean-spirited and rude, whether in stores, on the highways, or at public events. Perhaps that is why it is such a pleasure when we see, hear of, or experience, someone doing a kindness, saying something pleasant, or helping a person in need. Those actions are like a beacon in a darkening world of self-absorption.
Thank you Bob,
And thank you for sharing the other two examples of bloggers who are closing their blogs/comments. It’s not only sad, but a loss for the visitors who read and appreciate the value which is shared in comment sections.
I’m smiling at your description of a “nasty commenter”. 🙂
Like you, I see it in the real world too. It’s like it’s becoming a world where “it’s all about ME” is the new mantra. *sigh*
in my opinion, it’s very important not to take negative comments straight to your heart. There are many people, who only need to vent their anger. Sad but true.
Hi Sweet Love Quotes,
I hear you. If we can learn not to take those negative comments to heart, we’ll be much better off.
Negative blog comments are not bad for blog’s health. It depends on what the negative comment is all about. If it is right in real sense, then it is not bad for one’s health.
Hi Kingsley,
You’re right. If a negative comments is written in such a way it’s constructive and doesn’t attack another person, then it’s not unhealthy. Instead it could be very beneficial.
I think I was just trained for this post and these thoughts – my Grandmother was very critical and so was my Mother – and my mother was a perfectionist. I never did anything right – until it would wear me down. I loved school because I could hide from others and stay anonymous.
Then I went into the ministry, the clergy and their families are subjected to the most brutal forms of negative criticism because money comes directly to them.
And with cancer treatments, I learned I had to be my own person and do my own work…and I was determined to be my optimistic kind self – it is hard work to change all those deceptive brain messages…but I am determined.
I start my day with thoughts of goodness and health – and strength and personal power and I am now attracting those kinds of people into my whole world….I sit on fear quickly to move it’s energy out of my body and spirit – I think this is why it no longer makes me sick.
After getting 1,000 of hate and death threats in my first year of blogging for using the work abo*t in a post…I realized these messages are the work of negative fearful people…and I started to delete them regularly – when they first start to pop up….
I just keep working on a way to slow down the folks who wreck up things for others…I hate to say it but rape comes in many forms.
Hi Patricia,
You’re right. Rape does come in many forms.
How smart of you to take what happened in the past and use it as a lesson to turn things around. I like your idea of starting each day with thoughts of goodness and health. I also like what you said about how now you’re attracting like minded people to you. Isn’t it great how that works? 🙂
Hi Barbara.
Susan Deborah put it beautifully! It is all about attitude. I think these “trolls,” really are looking for attention and they feed on the drama. Folk do tend to react negatively to a comment just because it doesn’t agree, even if it is not put forth in an offensive manner. So it’s also up to the blogger about how they receive or respond when folk don’t agree with them.
When name calling and personal judgments come into play the negativity is out of the cage, so to speak. That’s when things get out of hand. I’ve seen some comment streams where it’s not even the blogger or the topic of their post that is under attack. Certain commenters take issue with each other and the comment stream completely derails. To me that just goes to show that these folk are looking for a way to let off steam. If they can’t get the attention they need by attacking the blogger, they will pick on commenters.
I haven’t received hostile comments in the 3 years that I’ve been blogging. I wouldn’t think twice about deleting them tho. It ruins the reading for the rest of the commenters.
Hi Davina,
That’s true. Negativity in a comment section can derail not only the post, but the whole comment stream. And what makes it worse is if the confrontations are allowed to continue. As a blog author, I think it’s best if we just comment by saying, “thank you for sharing your opinion” and not feed the negative comments or let them continue. After all, it is our blog and like you said, those type of comments can ruin it for the other readers/commenters.
I’m pretty ignorant. Is there a line that a commenter can cross where they become trolls inadvertently? And by trolls, I mean people trying to get attention. Can you leave too many comments or really long comments and become annoying after a while?
When I comment on stuff, it’s rare. But when I do, it’s wordy. Is there a nettiquet on commenting?
maddie
PS. I’ve sworn off commenting on my favorite sites this week but just had to ask.
Hi Maddie,
I see trolls as being people who “nitpick” on what the blog author is saying and by doing so, they often attack the blog author instead of just disagreeing with the message.
I don’t think you can comment too often, or even have too long comments. I know on this blog, I’ve had many comments which are longer than my posts. As long as they have value, I don’t have a problem with them.
As for nettiquet on commenting, so far I haven’t seen any rules, but you have me thinking I may have to write a post about it. 8)
oh, it’s a wired filling when you think: i NEEEED comments, doesn’t matter if they’re good or bad. and then, 10 terrible comments appears and you think: oh nooo, why did they say that? it’s better not have comments at all. and the next stage of understanding, when you decide: ok, people PAY ATTENTION, they read my blog, they argue, that’s cool. and after a few weeks the situation repeats again with all that stuff.
Hi Rotiferko,
True. You know what they say, “be careful what you wish for, as you might get it”.
I’m thinking we need to send out the vibe we want positive and valuable comments. Works for me. 🙂
Political and religious discussion are two areas I think I’ll avoid blogging about forever – they’re a big target of negative comments, since viewpoints are so opposing.
If I came under attack I’d probably just remove the posts, so long as they weren’t constructive criticism. There’s no need for myself and others to be reading “attack” comments, and if kept around they might weigh negatively on the site as a whole.
Hi Sabs,
That’s a good idea. If a post is that polarizing that it incites a lot of negative comments, it may be best to just delete it and all of the comments. Like you said, it can affect the whole site negatively, and we certainly don’t want that.
Hi Barbara, really nice post. It really is a pain to sort out negative comments. When I write some post on my blog and I know that the topic of the post is something that it would attract negative comments I just close the comments.
Thank You
Thank you James,
That works, too. Closing the comments on posts we feel may attract negative comments or ignite feuds between the commenters is another way to avoid the drama.
I couldn’t agree more, Barbara. For the same reasons that you mentioned in this post, I avoid reading comments on news sites. I find a lot of name-calling and trading of insults just because they don’t agree with someone else’s opinion.There’s something about anonymity in the internet that makes people more rude and intolerant.
Hi Stephanie,
I’m with you. Some sites have way too much negativity going on. Not only can reading them be depressing, but I find the name calling makes me cringe. Anonymity online has a place, but using it to attack others, makes the person appear cowardly.
That’s the funny thing about blogging. Nothing makes your day quite like a few positive “great post” comments on your recent post. Nothing brings you down like negative comments. If they are justified, go for it. If it is just some idiot trying to draw attention to themselves… I can do with out it.
By the way- love the design of your blog. Certainly stands out from the crowd.
Hi Larry,
That’s true. A lot of those who post negative comments want to draw attention toward themselves, but what they don’t realize is others won’t follow them/click on their link knowing that’s how they are.
Thank you for the compliment on my design.