If your blog is blacklisted, you may not know it, but you’ll “feel” it.
How?
Your blog stops getting traffic and/or comments, or you’ll see a drastic decrease in your statistics.
Why?
1) You may have left a derogatory comment on another blog. All of those who read it, stop visiting you. In a sense, they are boycotting your blog.
2) You may have written a negative article that demeans another blogger.
Your name gets entered on an “invisible” list. Your blog gets deleted from dozens of feed readers. You are quickly forgotten about. Your words stop having credibility.
Today’s Lesson
When a blog author publishes a post, they are sharing their views, experiences, and often their research of a specific subject, for free.
Most of us comment, and in some sort of way are saying “Thank you”, “I hear you”, or “What you wrote really helps me or reminded me to _____ (fill in the blank)”.
Occasionally we may leave a comment where we disagree with the author or someone who left a comment on the post.
Telling an author our experience was different, can add to the content, but telling the author or another commenter “they’re wrong” is setting ourselves up for confrontation.
Confrontation, in itself is not all bad. However, if we’re consistently looking to “stir the pot” we may get tagged as a negative, argumentative, and/or egotistical blogger. Soon, no one will want to visit our blog.
In blogging it’s acceptable to voice our opinions, however, …..
IT’S NOT WHAT WE SAY, IT’S HOW WE SAY IT.
Today’s Assignment
Have you ever blacklisted or boycotted a blogger?
What was the determining factor?
Have you ever left a comment on a blog and then regretted it?
Photo Credit: CoolText.com
This is very enlightening, Barbara.
Blacklisting bloggers? It would take quite a strong negative action by them for me to do this.
I can’t yet think of the circumstances that would warrant this… but, yes, I would.
The only way I would regret leaving a comment is if my choice of words is interpreted the ‘wrong’ way.
I guess we all try to be careful to convey our thoughts clearly but, occasionally, our words might be taken the wrong way.
I would hope, however, that either the blogger or a fellow reader would contact me directly away from the blog- rather than being insulting etc. on it.
Yes! I have recently found that some bloggers have decided to put a trojan on their blog that will infect you when you visit them. unless you have a firewall, they have left you a nice little present. As far as I am concerned, they get blacklisted and I will spread the word about them real soon.
No, I have never left a comment that I have regretted. I like to meet new people and give them credit for their efforts.
I’m with Scott. I could see how words can be misconstrued. I left a comment on a blog the other day, and the author didn’t understand what I meant. He took the time to privately email me. This was great because it gave me the chance to rearticulate and he the chance to understand. It would make me sad to know the author just kept on without wanting to know what I’d meant. I could blacklist a blogger but it would have to be for the right reasons.
Have I ever “blacklisted” or “boycotted” a blogger? I can’t say that I have. I respect each writer’s opinion (I mean, it is “their” blog). Sure I can disagree with their point of view but I’m not going to go so far as to literally say “hey, you are wrong!” They’re entitled to their point of view and I respect it for being theirs.
Now, I’ve had others leave comments on my blog that they later regretted (this was on another site I authored). On one occassion I emailed the reader to clarify the mis-communication that I felt took place and all ended well. On another occassion, the reader actually emailed me apologizing for the comment saying that “they felt s***** after having posted it” and asked me to delete it (that was interesting).
Anyway, would I ever boycott someone? No. We all have a differing point of view and everyone is entitled to voice their own perspective. I respect each and every perspective for being that of the writer. I’ll share in discussion/debate if asked to and will do so in a courteous manner but never in a confrontational one. For those that have been confrontational with me, I email them privately to gain clarity on what I believe might be a simple miscommunication and so far, so good.
Have I ever blacklisted anybody? No. But I think I would if I found a troll-ish comment demeaning somebody. As you have said I think it is OK to disagree. Hey, I disagree with my father on many issues, I disagree with many people of my own religion, but there is a way how.
I think we should not ever lose perspective, we must address the issue, but respect the person. Be humble, knowing that we could be wrong, and that in any case any person is above “being right” about anything.
I have not “blacklisted” anyone. But, you bring up a great point Barbara. How we say what we want to say is so important. It can mean the difference between positively sharing our opinion and negatively hurting someone else. I take what I write very seriously – as in I’m very serious that what I write is not a personal attack. I want to come across as positive, even if my point may not agree with the someone else.
That said, I also like what Writer Dad said about privately emailing someone if we have problems with what was said. These are issues that are best worked out privately between two people. I’ve got to think that most of the time this is an effective method of dealing with and diffusing a potentially bad situation.
Lance’s last blog post..Sunday Thought For The Day
Not really agreeable for me… Anyway, just as you talked about blacklisting, my blog I think was blacklisted by Google. No, not on search engine but on pr.. After getting pr2, I was immediately dropped to 0 w/o doing any paid post, or so…
Melvin’s last blog post..Guess What, My PR is 0 Again!
I guess I have blacklisted a blog…or maybe I come across one that I just don’t care to leave a comment on because I don’t support what they are blogging about, even if it’s their opinion, I don’t want to be associated with their opinion, so I just pass right over it when I see it.
I’m sure I left a comment on a blog, one just didn’t come out right and probably I tell too much on the others.
Natural’s last blog post..EntreCard Therapy
I haven’t blacklisted a blog so far. Regarding leaving comments: Sometimes I think that I did not express myself clearly enough – writing in a language that’s not my native one. Sometimes I am not sure whether I choose the right words. Sometimes I think I better should have stayed silent…
I’ve never been blacklisted. I think that it would be an extreme circumstance. Has anyone ever heard of a friend that’s been blacklisted? I’m curious to what the circumstances were that got them on the list.
If one is connected/linked to a huge readerbase somewhere and then misbehaves, chances are there will be a collective mindset that the blogger is ‘no good’.
I’ve never blacklisted anyone. I was just telling someone the other day that after a year of blogging I’ve never even had to delete a comment (not counting spam of course). I feel good about that because it reflects on the spirit of community at my blog. I think people can tell where your heart is.
I have left comments that were polite disagreements and I’ve had those bloggers stop supporting me but I think those were just misunderstandings and I’ve let them go. Some folks take offense too easily but coaches tend to have very thick skins because we challenge and are challenged back all day long.
A very interesting discussion.
I have never boycotted a blogger. If I like the content, I stay.
I have left comments I didn’t feel perfect about. However, nothing major.
I agree with your sentiment. It’s OK to disagree with an author, definitely. But, one must do it in a very respectful way. And, doing it too much may make you look like the things you cited. Even if you’re not them.
I haven’t considered the concept of being blacklisted.
I agree that a huge life lesson, one that should be taught in K-12, is that it’s not what we say; it’s how we say it. This is true with the TONE of our vocal voices and the TONE of our written voices.
I guess there is art to commenting and to responding comments.
I hardly ever delete comments from my blog. I can take confrontation. But I’ve seen other bloggers who becomes so defensive at the tiniest bit of “Well, I think differently . . .” comment I left. I think that just shows their maturity (not that I said this to those bloggers . . .)
Also, when I visit other blogs and take the extra time to read comments there, I’d much appreciate comments that go beyond “Great post!” level.
So. Again, there is a balancing art. It would be great to leave solid comments — they will appeal to the host blogger and the readers. But it needs to be done well.
Akemi – Yes to Me’s last blog post..Who Is Akemi? Do I Know Myself?
I’m too new in this to blacklist anyone yet I guess. This is a new concept for me, but I do see your point here. I feel it’s OK to disagree, sometimes that’s just how we learn — but I definitely agree it’s not about what we say, it’s really about how we say it! I see no reason for being mean, nor the use of vulgarities, no matter what the topic of discussion may be.
Irene | Light Beckons’s last blog post..Epiphanies From Freaking Out
Hi Barbara
I have never Blacklisted any one (i have stop visiting some blog though). and fortunately never had any problem with my reader or the author of the blog i read often.
Sunil Pathak’s last blog post..Bloggers confusion: How Long A Blog Post Should Be
I’ve had to delete a handful of comments on one post, but that’s it. I guess I would blacklist someone if necessary, but it wouldn’t be likely to happen.
As for leaving comments on other blogs, sometimes things I’ve said have been misunderstood. Sometimes I’ve even realized ahead of time that it could happen, and left another comment to clarify. There’s a bit more ambiguity in writing than in person, but it always helps to seek clarification instead of assuming too much.
Hunter Nuttall’s last blog post..Personal Development For Smart People: Free Sample Chapter
Hi Barbara. Nope, never blacklisted anyone (I don’t think), but there are some blogs I less frequent because the author never seems to want to respond to my comments. I guess they’re too busy.
I’ve never regreted leaving a comment, however, I’ve regreted an email or two.
There is another way that your blog can get blacklisted.
If someone hacks your blog and puts up profanity or something highly offensive to some and Google finds it, they will blacklist you and you’ll have a ‘dandy’ time trying to reverse it.
John Hoff – eVentureBiz’s last blog post..Staying Positive During Hard Times
Have I blacklisted? Possibly… in the sense that I used to read their page but then they started posting things I found uninteresting (for whatever reason), so I dropped them from my read. But never because they left a rude comment or something like that.
I haven’t ever regretted a comment, although sometimes I’ve regretted NOT commenting when the writer has moved on to another topic.
Hi Linda,
I’m looking forward to hearing who the bloggers are that are putting trojans on their blogs. They deserve to be blacklisted.
Hi Scott,
I agree. Interpretations of our words could create a problem, especially when we’re connecting with people from all over the world.
Hi Writer Dad,
You’ve given a perfect example of how our words can be misconstrued. Fortunately the author took the time to let you explain your words further. Had he not done that, he could have developed a negative impression of you.
Hi Ricardo,
Taking conversations offline is the best way to handle situations where there is a misunderstanding, isn’t it? We certainly don’t want our blog to be a battlefield.
Hi Miguel,
Trollish comments demeaning someone, or being hateful on purpose are often why bloggers get blacklisted. Disagreement, if done with respect. is normal in the course of life.
Hi Lance,
You’re right. One thing about blogging is that we will read differing points of view. We can agree to disagree, and by carefully choosing our words, we can have our say without being confrontational.
Hi Natural,
I agree that in some ways we do silently blacklist blogs when the topics are of no interest to us, or the author projects in a voice that’s offensive. It’s not much different than in life when we choose who we associate with.
Hi Melvin,
Welcome to the BWAB community.
Hmmmm! You’ve raised an interesting point. Does Google blacklist blogs? Is that what they call “putting blogs in the sandbox”?
Hi Ulla,
When writing in a language that is not native to you, it must be very difficult to choose the right words, as often they could be misconstrued.
Hi Karl,
I’ve never heard of someone who has been blacklisted, but based on some of the comments I’ve seen of the big name blogs, I can see how it would happen. They are comments I won’t click on as they’re so negative and often slam the author.
Hi Sue,
You’re right. The larger the readership, the more exposure a blogger has. One disgruntled reader could easily start a rumor and damage the credibility of the author. Or…the author could also do that to themselves by leaving derogatory comments.
Hi Tom,
That does say a lot about your blog – that you haven’t had to delete any nasty comments. And I agree, the spirit of our communities does reflect on the author.
Hi Bamboo,
Definitely. We must show respect for the author even if we disagree.
Hi Stacey,
Yes, our written words also have a TONE. As bloggers we need to be aware of that when we blog and leave our opinions on other blogs.
Hi Irene,
Isn’t it great how much we can learn when we read opposing views? It opens our minds to the greater picture. But, like you said, there is no reason to purposely be mean.
Hi Sunil,
Like you, I’ve stopped reading some blogs, but it was only because the topics they wrote about held no interest for me.
Hi John,
Again, you’ve taught me something new.
Yikes!!! I hope that never happens to me.
Hi Akemi,
Yes, it is a balancing act. We want to have our say (both in our posts and in comments), but we also want to have our opinions respected. Like you said, “there is an art…”
Hi Hunter,
That’s actually a good idea to clarify with a second comment, if need be. We certainly don’t want to assume a blog author (or their readers) will understand exactly what we’re saying.
Hi Catherine,
***smiles*** I like how you put that, “I figured if their ego was that big, they didn’t need me as a reader anyway.”.
That’s a good reminder for all of us. If we put ourselves up on a pedestal and act like we’re better than everyone else, we shouldn’t expect a large readership. After all, how can we teach someone who already knows it all?
Hi Vered,
You have solved the mystery – you’re an extremely fast typer. I’ve wondered how you do it as I’ve never seen anyone leave as many comments as you do. Kudos to you for that. 🙂 I need to take lessons from you as I’m not a fast reader nor a fast typer.
Like you, I would like to believe others would give us the benefit of the doubt, but if they don’t “know us”, their first impression could be negative. In fact, that’s witnessed in the subject of your current blog post (with regard to the nasty email you got). Obviously that person has not taken the time to get to know you.
Hi Annie,
It sounds like you and I have been on some of the same types of blogs. In our own way, we’re blacklisting them, although there’s not an actual “list”.
Showing kindness, even when we disagree, is key.
Hi Janelle,
Welcome to the BWAB community.
Thank you! Your guest post on Karl’s blog was superb.
I agree, there are some commenters who purposely “pick fights” on another blog. My problem with this is, it is not THEIR blog. I have to ask myself, would they act that way if they were visiting a person in real life?
Hi Sarah,
Welcome to the BWAB community.
Yes, some blogs do drift into areas that are of no interest to us. With time being an issue for so many of us, it’s only natural we’ll stop reading their work.
With regard to NOT commenting on an older post (I believe that’s what you mean). Keep in mind, most blog authors would welcome your comments whether it’s on the current post or an older one. Your opinion is always important and blog authors love to have you share.
Hi Barbara – I’ve gone thru my feedreader and deleted a lot of blogs. Mind you, some hadn’t posted for months.
I did recently blacklist a blog after I was forwarded an email criticizing my work, the work of a fellow blogger and the work of some of the people who volunteered to take part in my blog express and talking about them as if they were above them.
I figured if their ego was that big, they didn’t need me as a reader anyway.
“Telling an author our experience was different, can add to the content, but telling the author or another commenter “they’re wrong” is setting ourselves up for confrontation.”
I completely agree. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve come across comments where people almost seem to pick fights with the writer. It’s ok to disagree with someone on their point of view- but to leave a negative comment just for the sake of it or to draw attention to yourself is unethical and rude.
On a side note, I really enjoyed reading through your site and am grateful for your comment on my guest blog over at Karl’s site. I am now a subscribed reader 🙂
janelle’s last blog post..Who Said That?
Blacklisting sounds harsh… If I don’t like a blog, I just move on and forget about it.
Re: comments, since they are written really fast (that’s how I manage to leave so many comments on so many blogs. You wouldn’t believe how fast I can type ;), there are bound to be mistakes and misunderstandings, but I like to think that people would give me the benefit of the doubt if I make a mistake or two. After all, we are human.
Hi Barbara –
There are a couple of blogs I no longer visit because the blog author is rude and abrasive when it’s absolutely unnecessary. Fortunately, there aren’t that many because there are a lot of great blogs/people out there worth reading and getting to know.
To the best of my knowledge, I’ve not posted an inappropriate comment on another’s blog or been blacklisted myself. Even when I disagree, I try to be kind and gentle when I respond.
~ Annie
The thought of being blacklisted by dozens for one comment is scary! At the same time, though, that’s one way to prune away uninterested readers.
It seems that most truly offensive comments are left anonymously, so there’s no one to blacklist. (At least that’s the case with my blog so far. I haven’t come across anyone who’s willing to attach their names to a string of profanity…) It would really have to depend on tone for me to be personally offended enough to do something.
I don’t blacklist per se, but if I read incendiary comments on another person’s blog, I’d think twice before joining the commenter’s community or leaving any opinion on their site.
And ditto on the trojans, though I’d like to know whether it was done purposefully or not!
@ Barbara and Linda – I knew a guy who had trojans on his blog. I emailed and told him I couldn’t read anymore until he’d sorted it out. He said he’d made some attempt to fix it but they were still there. His blog isn’t there anymore. I don’t know if he was responsible for the trojans, or if someone else did it and he had no idea.
@ Barbara – I know, but I really couldn’t believe it – it was like they were saying they were better than my entire community – and they’re definitely not.
I hope I never get boycotted. I think most people can just use common sense to stay out of trouble online. But you have no control of others and you may be misunderstood like Writer Dad said. And not everyone will take the time to email you and straighten things out with civility. I find that it can be really hard if someone leaves a nasty comment on your blog. You don’t want to stir the pot but it can be hard to keep your mouth shut. I find that if you ignore them they usually just go away. 🙂
“Motivate Thyself”‘s last blog post..21 Simple Pleasures You Can Enjoy In A Moment’s Notice
If someone said something derogatory about any group of people I would drop them from my feed, or if they were being unnecessarily mean to someone else. But boycotting to me means more than just unsubscribing from a blog, it means actively trying to get others to unsubscribe too. It would have to be something really insulting for me to go to that extent. I haven’t come across anything inflammatory in the blogosphere up to this point, thank goodness 🙂
Blacklisting? Not really, except for the one guy who uses posts as bait simply to create conflict. I think if any of my regularly read blogs really offended me, I would just shoot off an email for clarification.
Wow, I had not even thought about blacklisting in the blogger world and then hacking and putting up profanity…oh my here comes things that allow me to learn more. Thank you for sharing this information Barbara.
I have 2 posts which are only one side of the articles I wrote for a news agency – so that might look one sided in the long run, but the other articles were purchased research articles and no one wanted to pay for the articles about the other guy!
I have been blacklisted in my vocational career when I was 25 and again at 42 both turned out to be blacklisting because of gender issues, but they took years to repair and one reason I went on to another career.
I am writing about change and decision making ideas so I am not a very popular site, because I think asking people to do something or think about something is sometimes construed as being demanding .
I am trying to be careful, but I also want to express my ideas and opinions after being a silent voice for so much of my life.
All of life must be a form of fine line – delicate thread.
And I just feel so privileged to read other’s thoughts, research and ideas I hope I have not offended? Should I worry about this?
Patricia’s last blog post..PTSD Part 1: Why Would You Want To Know About This Disorder?
@ Mare – I just did the boycotting myself – didn’t tell other people to do it too. I never thought about it like that.
I hadn’t heard about deliberate blacklisting or boycotting of blogs. I’ve certainly read content that wasn’t my cup of tea, so I’ve moved on – my own personal boycott I guess.
Hi Sara (@ On Simplicity)
You do bring up a good point; a lot of derogatory comments are posted as anonymous. In that case, I’m thinking deleting the comment might be the best way of handing that.
When we land on new blogs, the comment section can tell us a lot. Like you said, if we’re not comfortable joining in, it’s best to move on and make a mental note of the site.
Hi Eric,
The negative comments do raise an issue. In one sense, it is our blog and we have complete control over what we allow, so we could delete them. On the other hand, like you say, we can leave them up and hope they’ll “go away”.
Hi Marelisa,
Isn’t it amazing how small blogosphere actually is? We begin to defend our cyber friends and if someone begins to create waves, we come to the aid of other bloggers.
Although boycotting usually means getting others to join in, the way I see it is that if enough “see” a pattern of disrespectful comments from someone, it won’t be long until before one by one, they lose readers.
Hi Patricia,
Even though you may write about controversial issues, I’ll go back to my final words of the post, “it’s not what you say, but how you say it”. I haven’t read any of your work that would make me want to unsubscribe as I respect your viewpoint.
Being blacklisted in your career had to have been difficult. It’s no wonder you decided to change careers. Sometimes the pressure isn’t worth the fight.
Hi Ann,
You’re right, we often find blogs that we prefer not to frequent.
Hi Urban Panther,
Like you, I dislike negative articles. Those are blogs I stay away from. Bloggers who continually leave negative comments are setting themselves up for failure. Like you, I won’t go to their blogs either.
Hi SpaceAgeSage,
An email will usually answer why a comment came across as derogatory. But a blogger who intentionally creates conflict? Although that is a strategy to get more traffic, I would rather grow slow and steady than to be known as a “conflict blogger”.
Hi Linda Abbit,
I can’t see you having that happen. Like you said, those of us who don’t like confrontation in real life, certainly aren’t going to look for it in blogosphere.
I will stop reading a blog for 1 of 3 reasons. 1) for whatever reason, I cease to learn something from that blog (through no fault of the author, I might add) 2) I discover the posts to be extremely negative, or dubious in their claims 3) the blogger leaves negative or inflammatory comments on my sites and other’s I read. Does this mean I am boycotting them? I think that is a matter of semantics. It means I am making a choice not to read them. Boycotting to me means that I am also trying to get other people not to read the blog. That I would never do!
Urban Panther’s last blog post..Grease monkey or hair goddess?
Hi Barbara
I stopped visiting a blog that had lots of really ridiculous comments from one person about underwear and so on – it was a blog I would have visited at least a few times because the blogger left a comment on mine, and he was quite OK himself.
I’ve stopped reading some blogs very often because time after time they are irrelevant to me.
Robin’s last blog post..Insects Versus Mother Theresa
@ Patricia – I just read your blog and I didn’t find anything that would offend anyone – you seem to have some really useful stuff on there. But I wrote a really long comment and I think it’s gone in your spam folder. Would be grateful if you could fish it out. thanks
If choosing not to read a blog is boycotting, then I would do it if I came across a blog that posts things repeatedly I dislike. Don’t think I’ve had that experience yet.
Blacklisting is a whole new concept to me in the blogosphere, Barbara. Thanks for the lesson — and I certainly hope that never happens to my blog!
I don’t think I’ve left a comment I’ve regretted b/c it was mean or harsh. I hate confrontation in the real world, so chances are I’ll never do it online.
Hi Robin,
I’ve never looked at it that way, but our commenters can totally change the dynamics of our blog (post). You, for instance, stopped visiting a blog due to the content you found in the comment section, although it doesn’t sound like it was a reflection on the author himself. It makes me wonder how often that happens.
Barb,
I have “blocked” one person from being able to comment, The comments were so inflammatory and hateful that I did NOT need to see them.
Anyone is free to criticize my blog – but not ME. The two need to be separated out. You may express that you didn’t like what I did or said in my blog, but don’t criticize the person, criticize the action.
It’s just like parenting: You don’t turn to your child and say “You’re bad.” You turn to your child and say “What you DID was bad.”
Rita
Hi Rita,
Blocking someone is a great way to avoid having them on your blog. Negative, inflammatory and hateful comments don’t belong on our blogs. That’s what’s so good about being able to moderate what’s written. DELETE! 🙂
I agree, we should not attack a blog author. It’s not them that is the issue, it’s the content.
Hi Dr. Nicole,
Depending on the words that are used, yes, someone could be blacklisted with one remark. They may not be blacklisted by “everyone”, but if it’s on a favorite blog, the members of the community might get protective (of the author) and stop reading that person’s blog.
Why do some market themselves in such an odd manner? Often it’s for the money. They are probably running ads and hope the extra traffic will click and/or buy.
Like you, I also find blogosphere a fairly positive place.
Hi Barbara- Interesting topic, I find it hard to believe that someone could be blacklisted for one off comment here or there. There are sites that continuously show up in my spam filter that are consistently negative and I realized finally after much grief that they were generated by robots. What I don’t understand though is why a site would want to market themselves in such an odd manor. When I see certain domain names come up I just automatically delete the comments now because I don’t want any of my readers to be confused and click on something that may not be offering ethical advice.
Otherwise I have found the blogosphere to be a pretty positive place, and anyone that is not actively contributing to that is not someone I would care to interact with anyways. So I guess maybe I do blacklist on a more subconscious level…if I stopped by a friends blog and read a comment by someone negative they would not have a link that would inspire me to read more of their “wisdom” so I doubt I would make friends with someone like that or continue to read their ideas or opinions.
Hi Alex,
You’re right. The values a blogger projects through their blog will often determine whether we read it or not. Although it may not be a match for us, it could be still be a great blog.
When I decide that a blogger no longer matches my values, I delete them from my feed reader. I never thought of it as boycotting, but I suppose you’re right, it is.
It happens very rarely, but when it does I have nothing to do with the blogger after that.
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome’s last blog post..A Life Without Somedays: Erin Doland Interview
Hi Barbara –
I don’t recall ever have regretted leaving a comment, though there have been times when something I’ve said has been misunderstood, or simply not understood at all. I think this is because I’ve spent so much time talking online with Americans that I’ve absorbed some of the figures of speech, and y’all can find it kinda hard to tell I’m English. LOL! That can cause confusion, and yes, on occasion, hurt feelings, because there are phrases and words that mean different things on different sides of The Pond.
I’ve never boycotted anyone. I’ve dropped them from my feed reader, and I’ve seen one blogger put up a very pointed post about another blogger – which might count as blacklisting – but I can’t see myself doing that any time soon.
Oh dear…this is the first that I’ve really read about blacklisting and boycotting. If I do not like the content of what an author says, I also choose to move on. I may disagree if I know the blogger well but I’d never confront. I also do not like the idea of leaving negative comments. If I do not have anything good to say, I should just go on to finding one where I have good things to comment.
You catch more flies with honey, right?
You’re right. It’s not what you say. It’s how you say it. As Wooden would say … “Never be disagreeable just because you disagree.”
J.D. Meier’s last blog post..SIGN – The 4 Signs of a Strength
Hi Barbara,
It’s a distressing thought. I wouldn’t want to be a part of a group blacklist or publicly speak against another blogger as there are different strokes for all of us. As far as my own private life, as I imagine we all must do, I have to manage my blog reader to match my ethics, interests, time and friendships.I couldn’t keep up with every blogger out there so I have to make-unfortunetly- some judgements about who gets in that reader and who does not. But I wouldn’t have thought about it in the sense of blacklisting or being angry.
Part of it IS- for me-about making friends, building communities and having valuable relationships. So, if after awhile I see that there is someone not interested in that I may move on, but not without sadness.
Wendi Kelly-Life’s Little Inspirations’s last blog post..A Letter to the World
Hi Evelyn,
I hear you. Negative comments can not only shine a poor light on us, but can also take away from the value of a post.
Hi J.D.
That’s a quote I’ll have to remember, “Never be disagreeable just because you disagree.” Thank you.
Hi Jay,
That’s one thing I learned quickly. We do have different phrases on each “side of the Pond” (LOL – The Atlantic Ocean is a pretty BIG pond). As bloggers, we need to recognize that and learn what the different phrases mean so as not to avoid confusion.
Hi Wendi,
I totally agree with what you’re saying. We should never feel we’re are being blacklisted if someone unsubscribes from our blog. We’re all busy, we all have favorite blogs, and like you said, our interests sometimes change. And yes, it is sad when we must move on.
I’ve not really ran into any blogs that I’ve blacklisted or boycotted, at least not in that vain. I have had blogs I used to read and have moved on from. It’s usually not anything they have said or done, but I don’t relate to them and I have to cut back somewhere so I can add a few blogs I enjoy more.
I don’t mind if people disagree with a comment and I’ve left comments that respectively disagree. Normally I just choose not to respond, but sometimes I feel a differing opinion is necessary. I can’t think of any comments I’ve regretted making. Well, maybe just one, but that’s because after I looked at other’s views I thought I needed to think the matter through more before jumping to the wrong conclusion.
Debbie Yost’s last blog post..When Sign Language Isn’t the Answer
Hi Debbie,
That is true about when we leave comments. If we don’t think it through thoroughly, we could end up looking ignorant. Sometimes I stress more over a comment than I do a blog post.
Hi Theresa,
I agree. Healthy debates are not only fascinating, but can also be educational. Insulting each other crosses the line.
Barbara,
I haven’t had to blacklist anyone but would if the discussion turned from a debate about the topic into an attack on the individual. In my opinion, a healthy dialogue or debate among commenters about the topic or a person’s viewpoint is fine. However, when the conversation changes to personal insults or attacks on someone’s character, that is over my tolerance and I would warn the person before ultimately banning them altogether.
Theresa Zagnoli’s last blog post..Words To Live By: Suffer For Beauty
No, I have never blacklisted anyone. I have made my own little private list of blogs that I would not return to. I am not big into give aways and blogs that are heavy into advertisements. I would never “dare” comment a negative on their blog. That is what is so great about freedom of speech. We do have the choice to not read something that we do not like. I try to stay clear of any confrontational blogs and I for certain would not comment to start one.
Tammy Warren’s last blog post..From a little old box
I’ve seen some ugly fights break out in blogosphere, and I must admit, I’ve boycotted people that say mean things. My commenters have been nice to me; like you, I always try to find a common ground. Even people I don’t have much in common with, at first glance, sometimes surprise me with what they’ll agree with.
I’m enjoying your blog, and your community. 🙂
Pink Ink’s last blog post..A Conversation with My Blog
Hi Tammy,
Welcome to the BWAB community.
I hear you. I wouldn’t want to start confrontation on a blog either.
Hi Pink Ink,
Welcome to the BWAB community. I’m happy to hear you’re enjoying your visit. 🙂
The only ugly fights I’ve seen are on political blogs. People can be VERY opinionated when it comes to their favorite candidates.
Hi Barbara!
I love your assignments, they are comment provoking!
>Have you ever blacklisted or boycotted a blogger?
Yes, one time
>What was the determining factor?
It was during the Presidential campaign. Because of my work on persuasion, I was doing lots of media interviews and blogging about the different campaign approaches to persuading voters. I drew the attention of someone who was angry and on the attack against one of the candidates. I spent about a month of back and forth with him, hoping to persuade him that if he were less angry and more persuasive, his comments would be welcome on my blog. We seemed to be making great progress. Then someone else posted something that sent him off on a tear. Reigning him became too time consuming. So I blacklisted him, privately sent him my regrets and an accounting for my action. Last I heard from him.
>Have you ever left a comment on a blog and then regretted it?
Not yet. At least I hope not. I’ve not seen any of my comments on your blog yet, so hmmm, maybe? If I did, let me know! I like feedback!
best wishes,
Rick
Dr. K´s last blog post..Life Skills – Quick! Think Fast!
Thank you Rick,
I like the way you handled the person who was irate and taking it our on you. Sending an email and letting him know his comments weren’t welcome on your blog was the perfect way to put an end to that scenario.
Haha. Don’t worry, your comments are not blacklisted here. 🙂 I remember you make a lot of comments all at once and they all sat in moderation waiting for my approval.
It’s the opposite for me. If a blogger had been disrespectful for me in his blog or if he allows his loyal readers to disrespect me – while he sips his tea and actually enjoy the “show” – I’d get the feed of that blog and I’d subscribe to the comments. No use getting back and forth giving him pageviews.
There’s this blog who had been disrespectful of me and my friends. Do we boycott the blog? Nope, majority of us don’t want to go check out the blog. If something’s come up one of us get the latest post and echo chamber discussion and convert it to pdf for the others to read.
Too much negativity in a blog does not go unnoticed. Most readers are wary of this tactic. Of course, in the short term one gets the buzz. But in the long term? Very unproductive and most likely boomerang on the blog authors who espouse adversarial blogging to generate buzz.
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Hi Jan,
That’s true. If a blogger is showing disrespect to another blogger, they would be getting a lot of hits if the other blogger keeps checking comments. That’s a great idea to subscribe to the feed.
I find it hard to believe anyone would be disrespectful to you and your friends as from what I’ve seen on your blog, you all get along great and welcome new readers/commenters with open arms. I’m guessing the other blogger is jealous and just hoping to get a rise out of you.
And I agree. Negativity on blogs only hurts the blog author. Word get out and before long, no one is reading their work.