Trust Me – It Gets Easier

When we’re new to blogging, it’s not uncommon to lurk around other blogs; reading the posts and the comments, but staying silent.

The comment section of some blogs may seem personal and jumping into the conversation can feel like an intrusion, whereas other blogs feel more welcoming.

That said, leaving a comment for the first time can be scary.Image of comment form on blog

Today’s Lesson

The first comment I ever left on another blog was on Problogger. I don’t remember the post I responded to, but I do recall the experience was intimidating.  At the time I wasn’t aware Darren didn’t answer all of his comments, so I’d check back often to see if he replied to mine. He didn’t.

Instead, I received a comment on this blog and the comment author stated not only had I made a typo in my comment on Problogger, but by leaving the URL to this blog (in my comment), my comment appeared “spammy”.*

Yikes!

His words not only took the wind out of my sails, but for awhile I was hesitant to comment on other blogs.

Fortunately it wasn’t long before I met other new bloggers and commenting soon became second nature for me.

Reflecting back. I recall how frightening leaving comments can be.

We don’t know how our words will be received not only by the blog author but by fellow bloggers who are also reading and commenting.

Will they like what we said? Will we sound mis/informed? Did we word our comment properly? Will be be attacked for what we shared? Or did we hit “submit” only to later regret our words?

A lot of concerns can arise both before and after we comment.

But…that’s part of blogging.

Although a blogger can succeed by not leaving comments on other blogs, the interaction in comment sections can become an integral, as well as enjoyable part of the blogging experience.

Not only does practice make commenting easier, but in the process we meet our peers. Make friends. Expand our knowledge base. Challenge our brain.

What say you?

Today’s Assignment

When did you start commenting on other blogs?

If you’re a seasoned blogger, what advice would you give a new blogger who is hesitant about joining into the conversation?

If you’re new to blogging, what makes you hesitant to share your thoughts?

Care to share?

~Barbara

*P.S. Leaving the URL to your blog or a link to one of your posts doesn’t necessarily appear spammy. However, if a comment doesn’t address the topic of the post, but instead advises others to visit their site, both the blog author as well as those who have replied to the post, may see and/or label this type of comment as spam.

77 thoughts on “Trust Me – It Gets Easier

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Trust Me – It Gets Easier | Blogging Without A Blog -- Topsy.com
  2. The first blogs (I honestly can’t remember which one) that I commented on was probably the Xanga of one of my friends. Since we already know each other, it was no big deal. As for commenting on a blog by someone I don’t know, I actually rarely do that on my first visit. Instead I usually subscribe to it first if it looks interesting enough. And then if I still find the blog interesting after some time, I might start commenting. So for me, it takes a little bit of extra time, but by the time I decided whether to comment, I am already more or less aware of how the blogger is and the culture of the commenters.

    I suspect this “subscribe first” thing that I do probably isn’t a common thing.

    1. Hi Kelvin,

      That’s a good idea; to subscribe first so you’re able to learn more about the blog author as well as the community of bloggers who follow it. That way you can also tell how, or if the blog author engages with their readers and/or appears to value the comments.

  3. I started commenting on other blogs soon after I started reading other blogs, which was about the same time I started blogging around 7 years ago.

    I usually only comment on the few blogs where I’ve subscribed to the feed. I don’t get a lot of comments, but I do have regular readers who comment on occasion and almost all of them have blogs that I read.

    You’re probably not going to get many comments, if any, unless you visit and comment on other blogs.

    1. Hi Mike,

      That’s true. In most cases (there are exceptions), a blog author won’t receive comments if they’re not meeting other bloggers via commenting or connecting with others on a social networking site.

  4. My advice? Just do it. 🙂 Pretty soon you’ll see it’s not such a big deal.

  5. Wow, this is my first comment in your blog and I get to read a post like this. So now I can comment with hesitating then 🙂 Well I hardly remember which was the first blog I commented on, it was just a year ago but I have forgotten. Probably it was a blog of one of my friend and not the so called big pro blogs. But yes, you are right most of the times we are hesitant in commenting in others blog since it seems they are having some kind of conversation and I feel like I would interrupt the conversation with my not so good comment. I always fear that among all those nicely framed comments that other people give, my (bad English) comment would be neglected

    1. Welcome Shiva,

      You’ve raised a good point. If English is not the first language for a commenter, it can be more intimidating. However, for any blogger who’s been at it for any length of time, they soon realize they may be receiving comments from blog authors around the world and the wording becomes secondary.

      1. Yup, agreed. A blogger who has been for a length of time in the blogging world, pretty much knows what is the importance of communication and relationships in blogging. Also Blogging is a good way of getting into conversation with new people through comments and also a good medium to improve English.

  6. Hi Barbara

    I’ll be truthful… I started commenting on other blogs when I realised that a comment is a link and in terms of SEO we all know the power of incoming links… nofollow included.

    After a while I started commenting because a comment is like writing a post, but without the time you take over a post.
    Plus I became part of the blogosphere and started to make friends… forgot all about the links!

    My advice… start commenting on blogs you enjoy, on content you find helpful and understand and on blogs where you can add to the conversation.

    Another piece of advice… tick the subscribe to comments box and get involved with the conversation.

    Almost forgot – welcome back barbara.

    1. Thank you Keith,

      That’s true. Comments also have a link benefit.

      That’s great advice. When we find blogs where we feel we identify with the blog author, it’s easier to comment. From there we can branch out by visiting the blogs of others who comment on the same posts. Most times they’re bloggers who are like minded individuals.

      Yes. Subscribing to comments is a great way to get involved and to know who else commented after we did.

  7. I don’t remember when I started commenting, but I’ll admit – I comment far more often at CommentLuv blogs meself.

    Getting to know the folks behind the gravatars…it’s fun!

    And welcome back Barbara – great to see you blogging again!

    1. Thank you Barbara,

      Yes. Blogs which utilize CommentLuv give a commenter an added benefit with them being able to link back to a recent post of theirs. That way, instead of hoping others will visit us, the title of our post may be just what’s needed to entice them to do so.

  8. @Kelven- that’s so funny- long before I was a blogger, I had a zanga with some other members of my family and we used it to keep track of each other and write to each other much like Facebook now. I haven’t thought about that in years!

    Barbara,
    I was scared to leave comments at first. Filling out the name, e-mail and Website required information was what actually *forced* me to go get a blog because I mistakenly thought I had to have a website to participate in comments. It was only later that I realized, or maybe sites started to mention that website listing was optional. I don’t regret the mistake though! I always wonder how many non-bloggers out there make that mistake even now though and think the comment land is one for bloggers only and feel left out.

    1. Xanga was what I tried to connect and keep track of how and what my friends are doing. Ah, the day before Facebook, Twitter, and even Friendster.

    2. Hi Wendi,

      Good point. When readers see the comment box and it asks for our URL, that can be confusing. I didn’t know that’s why you started a blog in the first place, but I’m happy you did.

      Hopefully non-bloggers learn they can comment without having a blog considering the fact they probably have tons of valuable information to share, as well.

  9. I have been reading blogs for quite a few years. Having said that, I have only been leaving comments since last spring. It can be very intimidating, especially the techie blogs. I love leaving a comment on the blogs that have the “you have 4 minutes to edit your comment” once you have submitted. I find all kinds of typos, everyone does, even the author of the post. Just be yourself when commenting, if you are judged and you feel bad about it, then that is not the blog for you : )
    **Like this blog! yay…I’m editing right now lol**

    1. Lol Jasmine,

      I’m happy to hear you’re enjoying the “editing” feature. 🙂

      That’s true. I also find typos, not only in my own posts and comments, but on other sites too. Like you said, it happens to all of us, so there’s not use getting upset if we make an error.

      Plus, if we regret something we said in our comment, we always have the option of contacting the blog author and asking them to delete it.

  10. I started commenting on blogs about a year ago. I’m so hesitant to comment before because I’m afraid that i might have a typographical error. I will never forget my first error which I only knew after my comment was posted. Commenting on blogs is fun because I can share my thoughts and opinion. I’m only commenting on blogs that I find very informative and interesting.

    1. Hi Claire,

      I hear you. It’s maddening when we hit “submit” only to find we made a typo. Sometimes I’ve corrected myself in a second comment, but what I’ve found is the blog author will usually figure out what I mean and will just ignore the typo.

      Yes. Commenting on blogs is lots of fun.

  11. Hi Barbara,

    I don’t remember when and where was my first comment, but surely it was a little scary by being the first one. After a while I’ve realized there is no “biting and kicking” when commenting in other blogs.

    By just trying to be polite, expressing an honest thought and not typing like a kindergartener, it is possible to even disagree with the blogger and it’ll be just like a friendly conversation.

    So far I haven’t found a single blogger who is nasty or takes a disagreement in the comment as a personal attack, but rather as a contribution to the discussion, and I try to keep the same attitude with those who have a different opinion than mine after one of my posts (it is contribution to mutual growth!).

    And since when we are posting in a blog or when commenting, usually we are in our mostly chosen time, bloggers seems to be a very “nice breed” to interact with, normally a lot easier than it is in real life, where not always we talk or respond at the appropriate moment for the other person.

    Raul

    1. Hi Raul,

      I agree. Bloggers are generally a wonderful group of people; willing to help when they can, being understanding of opposing views and (usually) not taking what a comment author says to heart.

      I’m with you. When we comment we should be polite; just as we would be if we were visiting someone’s home. Like you eluded, with blogging, we can think about what was share and then comment at our leisure, whether that be the day a post is published or weeks or months later.

  12. I started with “it’s a great post” on a few blogs…LOL! However, I gradually moved on to writing my thoughts on the posts. Friar’s comment made me think. Would it be better to hold discussions on facebook instead?

    Wishing you much continued success in the new year,
    Evelyn

    1. Thank you Evelyn,

      That is funny how you started off saying “great post”. 🙂

      As for holding discussions on Facebook, although there are great ones on many of the “walls” (of members), not everyone has a Facebook page so I feel a blog is still the best place to keep a discussion with regard to a given topic. Plus, Facebook (to me) seems more on the personal side and doesn’t appear to be conducive to lengthy posts.

  13. Hi Barb! Hope you enjoyed your break and that your holidays were lovely and serene.
    I’ve blogged 2 yrs now and I just jumped in with comments. Like you, I’d check back to see what the “read” was on what I’d said. It really IS disappointing when bloggers don’t respond to comments – especially the ones that get few comments at all anyway. It makes you feel connected, doesn’t it? Yet many don’t bother. Pity. I think that people would be more inclined to comment more – you can kind of feel like why bother?

    I did once leave a tongue and cheek comment that the blogger “got” (he loved my sense of humor he’d said many times) but one of his other commentors didn’t and she did a tirade on what I said, totally going off – I tried to go back and explain to this “lady” and she wouldn’t hear of it, attacking me further. That is the only yuck I’ve had in 2 yrs and needless to say I stayed away from that blog since she was a regular – I think it was a cultural thing perhaps. Humor doesn’t fly well there I guess. Oh well – one out of 2 yrs worth, not bad. 🙂
    hugs
    suZen

    1. Thank you Suzen,

      Yes, I had wonderful break and even had days when I didn’t turn on the computer. Sweet!

      I agree. It can be disappointing when we leave a well thought out comment only to find out later the blog author didn’t acknowledge it. I know when I first started blogging I didn’t know what to do with comments so I just let the sit there, so maybe that’s the case with other new bloggers, too.

      You’re right. Humor is a tough one to share. Some people “get it”, but for others it can be the start of a word war. That was smart on your part to stop commenting on that blog since the “lady” was a regular. No sense creating problems for the blog author.

  14. Commenting on a blog is riskless… you shouldn’t worry about making yourself feel like a fool, just be honest, authentic and share what’s in your mind. If you’re scared, just make yourself anonymous and stop focusing on what others will react.. just focus on the content.

    1. Hi Henway,

      I like your idea of being anonymous if a person wants to share, but is scared of how their words will be received. That way no one knows who you are but yet you can contribute to the conversation. Later, if the person becomes comfortable with the process they can start using their online name and share their blog, as well (if they have one).

  15. Blog comments could really be as equally valuable as the content itself. What makes me hesitate from sharing thoughts is when it’s already useless or not new for discussion purposes. I think that is fairly ethical. Thanks for the lesson.

    1. Hi Ragan,

      Yes. When we comment we should be respectful of the blog author. Not only are they putting themselves “out there”, but often they’re sharing very valuable information – for free.

  16. Just like what my mom told me, if you can’t say something nice, keep your mouth shut. 🙂 I post comments when I feel that I can contribute to the topic or I can relate very well to it. Otherwise, I just lurk around. It’s not bad to correct bloggers with their posts but we also have to respect them and their opinions. 🙂

  17. When I got my first comment from someone I didn’t know, it really opened my eyes to the power of commenting.

    I love receiving comments and I know most bloggers do as well.

    Writing a good comment takes time though. A comment shouldn’t merely say “Great post!” or some variation of that. It should add to the conversation some way.

    Pet Peeve – don’t leave a comment saying “You are invited to follow my blog.” I got that exact comment this week. I didn’t click through and this is why. . .

    You need to build a relationship with the blogger. Leave a couple of thoughtful comments. That will make me want to check out your blog.

    1. Hi Chase,

      I agree. Writing a good comment does take time, often more time than we realize, especially if the post is real thought provoking.

      That’s true. If we continue to leave comments on a favorite blog, the blog author is bound to click through to our blog and possibly leave a comment on ours too.

  18. With commenting, the idea is to great a win/win for everyone. You need to bring value. Either engage in the conversation or bring out a piece of information that has not been fully explored. That brings value to the owner of the blog and the other readers. For yourself, the best way to bring traffic to your blog is through the linkbacks the comment section provides. If a blog doesn’t provide a linkback, they aren’t providing value back to you.

    1. Hi Michael,

      I hear you. I know from experience on this blog, there’s more value in the comment section than in the posts I publish. I love when bloggers bring new ideas to the table since like you said, it not only helps me but helps those reading the comments, as well.

  19. I agree with Suzen that it’s a bit discouraging to leave comments, especially on blogs you really enjoy, and the author doesn’t acknowledge them. You feel like “Why bother?” And a number of my favorites NEVER acknowledge comments and, honestly, that seems rude but doesn’t appear to stop people from commenting. You do a wonderful job of responding to your comments and I’m sure it’s time consuming but it gives your blog such a welcoming vibe!

    1. Thank you Crayon,

      Like you, I see blogs where the blog author doesn’t engage in the comment section, but for some reason that doesn’t stop others from commenting. In some cases I can see it if the blog author continually shares information that is full of value, but it would be nice to see the blog author show up even if it’s to say, “thank you…”.

  20. Welcome back, Barbara. I’ve been thinking about you and your healthy look-after-yourself sabbatical. At least that is what I’ve been picturing.

    I love discovering new blogs that I like. I love leaving a comment because I usually have something I want to share.

    Alas, I find myself with too many subscriptions. Synchronicity at play – I just did a post asking for advice from seasoned bloggers about how to prune. I feel ruthless!

    Your article took me back to the first few comment experiences which were not easy or comfortable. With time and a better understanding of how it all works, I find comments can be as delightfully surfacy as a quick quip over the back fence or as deep as an intimate chat over tea!

    1. Thank you Amy,

      That’s true. For the beginner blogger, leaving comments can feel like an uncomfortable endeavor, but like you said, with time and understanding of how things work, it does become much easier.

      I wish you well with paring down your subscriptions. While on my hiatus I spent time unsubscribing to emails. Although it was time consuming, the end result is worth it. It’s nice to have a nearly clear slate, isn’t it?

  21. I am going to start up my blog pretty soon, the hardest part for me was all the internet marketing to increase site traffic. I just have to be patient.

    1. Hi Mark,

      With commenting being one way of increasing our traffic, I think it’s good to get in the habit of visiting blogs we enjoy and leaving a bread crumbs so others can find us.

      I wish you well with your new blog.

  22. I enjoyed reading your post Barbara, because I can relate with it. At first I’m also afraid to comment on a blog and thinking that what if my comment is wrong. But then as I often do commenting on a blog site, I noticed that there’s no wrong comment, opinion and idea on what you have posted.
    I agree that blogging is fun. Aside from the fact that you can share your ideas, you can also learn from it.

    1. Thank you SF DUI Attorney,

      That’s very true. There is no right or wrong way to comment. Just share your thoughts, be considerate of the blog author and don’t be spammy.

  23. You are so correct in that it can be intimidating to leave a comment on a blog, especially if it appears as though the other commenters are “friends”. I used to hesitate before hitting the submit button, and then be insecure about whether or not what I wrote was cool enough, or really stupid. The blogosphere can be a bit clique-like, but for the most part I’ve found that people are very kind. It took me awhile to understand that if I felt something, then others felt it too – we are not so different from each other. What I’ve finally come round to regarding comments on my own blog is this – I have left a little note above the comment section that states that I rarely comment there, but I like to visit their blog and leave them a comment in return. If they don’t have a blog, at least they understand that I’m not trying to be rude, and I do then reply to them personally below their comment. That is working out well for me, as I get to visit other blogs and see what’s out there, rather than it being only my own space that I’m hanging around. Great assignment Barbara, and Happy New Year!

    1. Thank you Miss Becky,

      I know. I see cliques on blogs too. In those cases I’m hesitant about sharing my input not knowing if it will be welcomed or if the blog is “exclusive” to a select few.

      You’ve raised a good point. When we feel a certain way, at first it’s easy to assume it’s just us, but if we really think about it, obviously (some) others must feel the same way, too. I think that’s how we end up building community in blogosphere. We find others we identify with and can grow/learn together.

      That’s a good idea to let your readers know you don’t show up in your comment section too often. That way they know you welcome comments, but don’t expect a reply.

      Happy New Year to you, too.

  24. Barbara,

    First of all, I hope you had a very nice and restful holiday. I also wish you a new year full of wonderful surprises and new ventures (dare I make that wish as you keep yourself very busy!)

    I remember how difficult it was for me to leave my first comment on your site. I was totally intimidated:~) Then I discovered what a wonderful and loving person you were and commenting here became much easier.

    As far a new blogger goes, I always suggest leave the comment. Bloggers like getting comments and most will return the favor. The only thing I would say is pick sites that you really enjoy reading the posts. This makes your comments more authentic.

    1. Thank you Sara,

      I wish you all the best in 2011, too.

      That’s good advice; to pick blogs which you enjoy reading. I don’t think there’s anything worse than landing on a blog about a topic you have no interest in and then try to construct a value based comment. Like you said, if we enjoy a site, our comments will be more authentic, and easier to write.

  25. Hi Barbara,

    Never really found it that intimidating to post a comment on a blog, but find I can hesitate pushing the submit button on comments that I feel wouldn’t have benefit to the blog writer.

    I find a lot of people generally comment on lots of blogs simply to get their own blog’s name out in the open – which tends to create lots of ‘spammy’ comments as you mentioned above.

    Thanks for the post though, I’m only back to the blogging scene again this wet week, but plan to stick to it for good this time round. And with a bit of luck and good work, hopefully I won’t be talking to myself on the blog for the next couple of months hehe. 🙂

    Cheers,
    Dave

    1. Hi Dave,

      I know what you’re saying. Although we can get found easier by commenting, if we make the rounds and aren’t leaving value based comments, then we do start to look like we’re spamming other blogs. It’s a fine line, but if done right, our comments can be beneficial not only to the blog author(s), but to us, as well.

      Happy Blogging! I’ll drop by and see what you’re posting one day soon. 🙂

  26. It is important to bring value when commenting. Some comments don’t give value on the post. There are some authors that don’t accept comments if they seem to read that the comment is not relevant to the post.

    1. Hi San Diego DUI Defense,

      Yes. It’s very important to add value to the post. And that’s true. If a comment isn’t relevant to a post, some blog authors will mark them as spam.

  27. As for me, I was never really intimidated to post a comment on blogs I’ve read, since I focus on what my thoughts are about the topic (entry), so I was pretty much ignoring the existing discussion, though along the process, I’ve learned that it’s also important to check out what other people’s thoughts are about the topic, since sometimes commentators have a lot more to say about it.

    As for my advise, you don’t need to be hesitant because commenting on other blogs is very beneficial to you as a blogger.

    – it gives external links to your site
    – you get to share your expertise about the given topic
    – you can as well build a relationship with the blog owner
    – more exposure for your blog

    1. Hi Richard,

      Thank you for sharing the four great advantages of blog commenting. Although it can take some practice, comments are a benefit for everyone concerned.

  28. I have started commenting from a month ago. I was hesitating a lot to comment on other sites. now i am doing somewhat good i feel.

  29. Hi Barbara .. at the beginning a few of us started together & we posted and commented on each other’s blogs .. then I got brave and started reading and commenting elsewhere .. I got lucky and came across you and other extended blogging family .. and actually rely on others to send me further out into the blogosphere to meet new bloggers.

    Knowing your limits, or knowing where you’re going .. I love having good quality comments and making quality comments on the blogs I post on ..

    I do scan other blogs with a higher profile – various types .. I see I subscribe to over 200 blogs .. and I battle with those that post 7 days a week .. and will limit my time to commenting once a week .. I love their comments across to me!

    It’s that balancing line again .. if you’re new .. start slowly and learn from other commenters, and only go to blogs that you relate to .. be they your niche, a hobby, educational etc and don’t necessarily try and enter the conversation til you’re ready ..

    Welcome back – missed you and am sure you feel refreshed – have a very good New Year .. cheers Hilary

    1. Thank you Hilary,

      I like your advice about not commenting until you’re ready, and starting slow. As you know, if we find blogs where we connect with the blog author, it’s much easier to start there, and like you said, then branch out.

      Happy New Year to you and your mum. ((hugs))

  30. I have been communicating with other bloggers for months now, like you at first I became hesitant because of maybe they would not like what I would give as feedback. But now I feel comfortable because I know interacting would be best for bloggers like us. What comment did you write for it to look spammy?

  31. Hi Allie,

    Yes, Interacting is beneficial to bloggers. Not only does it get us involved, but we get to meet other bloggers in the process.

    RE: The comment I left. The commenter who came by this blog told me because I put the URL to my blog in the comment, it made the comment look spammy. (But apparently the blog author didn’t mind, because he approved it.)

  32. Hi Barbara,

    The first time I comment on blog was two years ago and it gave me a very strange feeling. I had doubts if I’m gonna hit the submit button or not because I’m afraid that my comment is wrong. Bur after my comment was posted and the author agreed to what I wrote, I was so very happy. I never stop commenting on blogs that I really like and will catch my interest. More power to you!

    1. Hi Courtney,

      The first time commenting can be scary, hey? But as you’ve said, as time passes it gets easier and by the sounds of it, very enjoyable for you (as it is for me, too).

  33. Hi Barbara – I relate blog commenting to the first day of school, at a new high school, senior year, in the wrong uniform. Completely intimidating!

  34. Never hesitate! This is part of the blogging game – debates. If you have something important to say, which contributes to the discussion – why not saying it?

  35. Yes Babra i totally admired with you. As i am new to blogging therefore i love to learn new strategies about blogging. Well i don’t remembered my first comment where i did drop that? Thanks for suggestions.

    1. Thank you Rakesh,

      When we’re new to blogging, there’s a lot to learn. One thing I found works well is to just take it one step at a time and enjoy the journey.

  36. I left an honest comment in a very popular blog once and the author shot me down. It was intimidating because this was an influential blogger and pretty much everyone else who left a comment on that blog post was kissing a*s. Anyway, I wasn’t attacking her or anything but just trying to clear up the point that was brought up in the post. Being shot down rattled me for a bit but after a few days, I saw that other people agreed with me and the blogger eventually saw the light. That was one of my scarier blog-commenting experiences. 🙂

    1. Hi Kylie,

      Unfortunately that is part of blogging – everyone has their own opinion and even though some bloggers ask for ours, if our opinion is different than theirs, they may respond negatively.

      I’m happy to see the experience didn’t stop you from leaving comments elsewhere. Although those who comment here may have differing opinions, they’re always welcome. 🙂

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