Truth be told, a lot of people are not good listeners. They’re often preoccupied with other thoughts, just want peace and quiet or are waiting for you to finish talking so they can have the floor.

That said, I don’t know of a person who doesn’t want to be heard.

Today’s Lesson

Age, maturity or whatever you want to call it, has taught me that no one person can be our “everything”. Even if we feel we’ve met our soul mate, they’re not going to want to hear our every word, our every thought and/or our every feeling.

That’s where friends and relatives fill some of the voids.

Even then, our real life relationships may not be enough, especially if we’re interested in topics they don’t care about.

I know with this blog, even though my loved ones support my blogging activities, they don’t care to hear about every little detail I post online. Hence, you’ve become sounding board, even if you don’t comment.

I think that’s why mommy/daddy blogs are so popular. Some parents need to vent, need to share, and turn to blogging as a way to do so. Online they’re bound to find a few people who share their feelings or who will give them a different perspective to consider.

Blogging becomes not only a way to “speak” to others, but a way to be heard.

If we check our stats and see we had visits, we believe our words are being read. If we receive comments, we feel our beliefs are being validated.

That’s a good feeling, isn’t it?

Once we know/believe we’ve been heard, we can leave our computer with a feeling of satisfaction and go back into the real world with a sense of fulfillment.

It’s a win-win.

We got to vent to others whom we believe are listening, and our loved ones are spared from hearing about topics they have no interest in.

A word of warning. Blogging and social networking are not meant to replace communication in our real life relationships although the line between the two can become blurred.

Today’s Assignment

Do you feel blogging is helping or hurting your real life relationships?

Care to share?

P.S. Patricia of Patricia’s Wisdom is very aware of the importance of being heard and has created a site named Wise Ears. For a small fee she will be your sounding board and confidant.

Photo Credit: Adreson

So addictive, it can begin to rule our life.

Some bloggers stop socializing with their real life friends. Others spend so much time in front of their computer, their health begins to suffer.

Weight gain can result, as well as other unhealthy habits.

With all of the benefits blogging has, it’s sad to think the down side can be so huge.

Today’s Lesson

Blogging has a way of slowly drawing us in.

In the beginning it’s very subtle. We may find we’re spending more time on our blogs and stealing minutes from our sleep time to blog and/or communicate with our online acquaintances. Soon, those minutes can turn into hours.

If left unchecked, we can find ourselves sucked in to blogosphere and feeling quite overwhelmed.

In Davina’s situation, she realized she was blogging so much, her real life was slipping away. She so eloquently put it when she said,

My circle grew in the sense that I had more connections, but yet my life grew smaller. The blogging cycle became a merry go round that was spinning at a dizzying speed.

In my personal experience, it became harder to be creative and come up with new ideas to write about — because I didn’t have a life outside of blogging.

I think that’s why so many bloggers find other bloggers are writing about the same things. The fun and creativity is lost or smothered by self-imposed pressures of obligation. The inner critic has a wonderful time with this, distracting you, knocking around your ASSteroid Belt.

Blogging shouldn’t be that way. Blogging should be fun and not feel like an obligation.

Even though a blog can provide personal and financial gain, it’s meant to help us grow as a person; not to take over our life.

Today’s Assignment

Has blogging affected your life in a negative way?

If so, how are you handling it?

If you’ve found balance, what advice would you give to a blogger who is struggling with juggling their real life and blogging?

Raise your hand, share your thoughts and together we can help each other.

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I echo Sara’s sentiments.

I can truthfully say, blogging is more than a hobby, it’s a passion of mine.

But it hasn’t always been that way. In fact, I spent many years trying to figure out what I wanted to do when I “grow up”.

Although I do love the work I currently do (office administration), I felt I needed more. Something that would really make my heart sing. Something I would never tire of. Something that didn’t feel like a job. Like so many others, I wanted to say “I found my passion.”

For me, “blogging” became the answer.

My eyes are open to the fact many bloggers are also searching for their passion.

As I read the blogs of others, I know “something” is inspiring them to write about their specific topics. When I read their comments, I can see how they are more passionate about some topics, and less about others. If they are posting just to post, or commenting just to comment, it’s obvious, but when they are writing about that which drives them, their passion shines through.

With some bloggers, it’s obvious they love to write. Whereas others find joy in opening their readers eyes to a cause, sharing life lessons and/or leaving this world a better place.

When we look at why we blog, what we blog about, and which posts of others stir something within us, we may find ourselves closer to identifying our passion.

Today’s Lesson

Borrowing part of a post I wrote on my Observation Mountain blog titled, How To Find Your Passion and Make Money, I list 15 questions we can ask ourselves which will hopefully bring us closer to fulfilling that dream.

Let’s get started:

1) If money was not a worry, what could you see yourself doing? What would you do for free?

2) What do you do (hobbies or other), where you get lost in the project and time seems to “fly by”?.

3) As a child, what did you enjoy doing? Do you still enjoy that “activity”, but in a more grown up sort of way?

4) What are your strengths? Are you organized? Are you a care giver? Are you creative? Are you social? Other?

5) What do others say you are good at? If you’re not sure, ask your family and friends.

6) What don’t you like to do? Oftentimes, admitting what you don’t like to do, reveals more of what you like to do.

7) Do you feel passionate about something, but are too embarrassed to admit it to loved ones? Why?

8.) If you were to follow your passion, would others in your life “be left behind”? Do they have to be? Or is there a way of including them?

9) Are you making excuses for not following your passion because you might actually succeed? Are you afraid of success? Why?

10) If you know what you are passionate about, can you find a way to begin that journey, plus do what you’re doing now? i.e. go to school part time? Follow your passion “after hours”….?

11) If you admitted you wanted to follow your passion, and others laughed at you, or were negative, how would you react? Do you feel strongly enough about your passion to defend yourself? Do you really care what others think? Remember, many great inventors and big named business people were scoffed at.

12) What “gets to you”? Do you hate waste? Do you hate seeing children becoming obese by unhealthy eating habits? Do you hate paying good money for an inferior product? What “puts you on your soap box”?

13) Do you see something and KNOW you “have a better way”? Could you invent something?

14) If you were on your death bed today, would you have regrets because you did not follow your “dream”?

If you answered “yes” to #14,

15) What’s stopping you?

After you have taken time to write out the answers, step away from it. Wait for a few days or weeks and review your answers. Have they changed? Do you need to elaborate on any of your answers?

As you look at what you have written, you may soon see a common “theme” emerging.

Is this your passion?

You may realize you are a creative person who could make a product in your own home and sell it to local boutiques, small shops or online. Maybe, you are a stay at home mom who loves children and enjoys being a care giver. Setting up a day care may be right for you. Or maybe as a kid, you used to love to play with toy hammers and saws. Would you like to be a general contractor and build or remodel homes? Or make furniture?

If you have an idea for an invention, with some hard work and research, you could see it materialize.

The possibilities are only limited by your imagination.

Today’s Assignment

Are you doing what you’re passionate about?

If not, what’s your biggest obstacle?

Is blogging helping you get closer to your goals?

Raise you hand and share where you are on the path to your dream.

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P.S. For your convenience, I’ve installed the “Sexy Bookmarks” plugin (see below). One of the options I’ve activated is named “Print Friendly” (top row – second from right). For this assignment you may want to print this post and take your time answering the list of 15 questions.

For myself, #6 has been very beneficial. When I wrote down what I didn’t enjoy doing or preferred not to do for a living, it helped bring me closer to doing what I love.

We all have a life outside of our blogs.

Work, family and friends may take up a lot of our time, as well our other interests and/or hobbies.

So, what do bloggers do when they’re not on their blogs?

Jannie Funster sings and plays the ukulele when she’s not blogging. When Vered is not on MomGrind, she’s writing parenting articles on Up To Us, and Tom Volkar is a life coach when he’s not blogging.

Today’s Lesson

I don’t often talk about what I do when I’m not on this blog. Today I’ll share.

My first commitment of time goes to my family and friends. When they’re around, I step away from my blog and make memories.

My husband and I have a business which demands a lot of our time and although I work from home, I treat it like a real office. If I’m not answering the phone, typing contracts, bids, estimates, company correspondence and/or running errands, I’m handling the accounting end of the business. When time permits, I can also be found dabbling in my hobbies – reading, sewing, photography, decorating, gardening, cooking and/or baking.

My blogs, which started out to be an outlet and possible money making endeavor are now a passion. Although most of my writing time is spent on this blog, I update my Observation Mountain blog on occasion, visit other blogs and can also be found on Twitter.

Concern about the environment, and the six years of experience gained from having a (wood) recycling business, prompted me to share more of what I’ve learned and create another blog named, “From Waste To Resource” -  “Eco Friendly Ideas to Create A Greener Environment”. Although it’s still in its infancy, thus far I’m having fun with it.

So there you have it.

Now it’s your turn.

Today’s Assignment

If you’re not on your blog, where can you be found?

Do you have an ebook, another blog and/or business endeavor you’d like to share?

If so, please leave the link(s) in the comment section.

I’d love to hear where life takes you when you’re not blogging, and I’m sure others would too.

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It’s often written, when we get married we’ll walk into the sunset and live happily ever after.

That is far from the truth. Even in marriage, a partner cannot fulfill our every need. Guys still want time with the “boys” and women savor friendships with their soul sisters. By cultivating other relationships and pursuing our own goals, we grow as individuals. Respect, admiration and love often builds between the partners as a result.

Today’s Lesson

Having read all of the responses to the question, “What would you do if you weren’t blogging” (from Friday’s post), the answers revealed we may be blogging to fill a void in our lives.

Here’s what was written and by whom.

If I wasn’t blogging, I would be…….

Working on other writing, music or artistic projects : J.D. Meier, Chase March,Space Age Sage, tumblemoose,Jennifer, Writer Dad, Ari Koinuma, Cath Lawson, Blogger Dad

Engaging in or learning more about photography: Scott McIntyre, Ulla Henning,, Dr. Cason

Sleeping: Lance, Vered, Linda Abbit

Slowing down: Mark Salinas

Exercising and/or spending more time outdoors: Betsy, Eric,

Reading: Natural, Vintage Mommy, Patricia, Leanne Magraith

Watching TV : Stacey, Amy Derby

Working on projects around the house: Urban Panther, Annie Anderson

Sailing: Linda,

Flipping houses: John Hoff,

Cooking: Avani, Davina

Traveling: Mike Goad,

Spending more time with family: Chris,

Playing video games: Kim Woodbridge,

Working on crafts: Evelyn Lim,

Studying: Lucas

Spending time on the computer: Ajith Edassery,

Marketing a business: Tom Volkar

Other: Pink Ink

The answers got me thinking.

Why do we give up things like sleep, time with our families, and/or other passions in our life, to blog?

Apparently blogging is giving us “something” these other activities or people in our lives, don’t.

To answer my own question, I realize although blogging is allowing me to teach and share that which I’ve learned (and continue to learn), what I’m gaining from it, is much deeper.

Blogging gives me a voice in the form of an uninterrupted conversation with others without being rushed. In the process, it feeds my ego as well as my desire to learn. Blogging allows me build something that is totally “mine”, connects me to like minded people, builds friendships, and gives me an excuse to neglect and/or ignore tedious chores.

In many ways, blogging has made me a more well rounded person.

Today’s Assignment

What is blogging “giving you”, you’re not getting in your everyday life?

Feel free to join in the conversation and let your voice be heard.

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